Dirty Harry
by Red the Revolutionary
Summary: AU. Harry had a twin sister, named Jaina. She was named the Girl Who Lived, while Harry was abandoned in a muggle orphanage. Now, he's back, and ready to do what no one has done before: Rule the world. Starts with Year One, dark Harry, Harry/Harem. Some stolen characters from random places, but not a crossover. A re-write of my other Harry Potter Fic. Kinda silly, but it has plot.
1. Prologue

Dirty Harry – Chapter One

_**Hey everybody. It's Red. This is a re-write of my original Harry Potter Fic. I'll explain why.**_

_**I was writing Chapter Four, and I decided to re-read my own Fic, and I found that the first chapter had absolutely nothing to do with how I wanted the story to go. By all means, the Harry in my other Fic had practically no chance to go Dark, and I want a Dark Harry. So, screw the Trained Chosen One, on with Dirty Harry.**_

_**Yes, I got the name from the movie. I will try to put in at least one quote in each Chapter. Sorry if I get a lot of the Dirty Harry references wrong, or misinterpret something, I haven't seen it in ages.**_

_**I'll put who I will be putting in the harem at the bottom of the page.**_

_**I am a hardcore Weasley-minus-Twins- bashing. We all know that Molly gave Harry and Hermione love potions. I am Karma incarnate. Now, Harry will have a harem and lots of lemons.**_

_**This will have Dumbledore in Denial. Let me explain. He's going to do bad things, basically be the usual manipulative self, come off as a bad guy, but still believe that he's a good guy. So will Harry, but in a different way.**_

_**I update slowly, and my chapters are usually around 4k words.**_

_**I swear my ANs won't be this long. Probably just this one and the one for chapter Two.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this Fic. This will apply to all future Chapters. Also, I am an asshole Author, who will update at my own pace.**_

_**On with the story.**_

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><p><em>-Harry Callahan: You know, you're crazy if you think you've heard the last of this guy. He's gonna kill again.<em>

_-District Attorney Rothko: How do you know?_

_-Harry Callahan: 'Cause he likes it._

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><p>Lord Voldemort, this Eras Dark Lord, was walking down a street in Godrics Hollow. Why was he walking down the street? Well, that depends on whom you ask.<p>

For instance, if you were to ask Dumbledore, 'Leader of the Light', he would tell you that it was because Voldemort was trying to kill the Chosen One, the one mentioned in a Prophecy made by the recently hired Professor Trewaly. The one that said that 'A child will be born as the seventh month dies, whose parents defied Voldemort three times, and have lived to tell the tale'.

However, if you were to ask Voldemort, he would tell you that it was because Snape had ran into a closed door meeting with his highest ranking Death Eaters, bitching and moaning about a child that would kill him. Voldemort laughed in Snapes face, but his Death Eaters mimicked Snapes bitching and moaning, so Voldemort is now going to put an end to this once and for all.

Really, the whole thing was ridiculous. How could a child defeat Voldemort? The Ministry was weeks away from falling, and by the time the child had grown up, Voldemort would have consolidated enough power so that nothing short of a God could defeat him.

But until then, it looked like Voldemorts free evenings were going to be occupied by killing babies. Joy.

Despite popular belief, Voldemort found very little joy in killing babies. It just made him feel guilty. Which is odd, since he had a total of 1/32th of a soul after his five Horcruxes. Of course, he would have a perfect 1/64th of a soul once he finished up with 'The Chosen One'. Voldemort resisted rolling his eyes, and found that he had arrived at the Potters house.

Merlin knows why the Potters chose Peter Pettigrew as their Secret Keeper. The man, if one would be kind enough to call him that, was scared of his own fucking shadow. Voldemort didn't even have to draw his wand to get him to scream the Potters address.

Voldemort sighed. Probably Dumbledick doing what he does best. He drew his wand, and approached the house. _No wards. Gee, I wonder whose idea that was. Dumbledick probably told them that because of the Fidelus Charm, they wouldn't need any backups. I sense a trap._ He cast a Blasting Hex at the door, and found that the Potters were having dinner.

"Hello, no need for this to get messy. I'm here for Harry and Jaina Potter, your twins. Please hand them over." Voldemort said. No need to shed blood. Especially James' Pureblood blood. _Heh. Pureblood blood._

"Lily, he's here! Take the children and run! I'll hold him off!" James shouted, brandishing his wand.

Lily grabbed the two children, and ran upstairs.

Voldemort raised an eyebrow. _Why would she run upstairs? She would be running into a corner!_ He shook his head, and said to James, "Listen James, I need to kill your children. But if you just roll over for me, I'll let you and Lily live, honest! I'll make a vow and everything! I already made one to not kill Lily, and you're a Pureblood, so it's a win-win for everyone!"

"Never!" James snarled. "**Stupefy**!"

Voldemort threw up a shield, and began his duel. A few moments later, Voldemorts **Expelliamius** connected, and James was disarmed. James, not knowing what else to do, charged Voldemort. Voldemort on the other hand, rolled his eyes, and lobbed a **Stupefy** at him, which sent him flying. With a shake of his head, Voldemort walked upstairs. No need to rush. He had placed an Anti-Apparating Charm while he was walking up the driveway.

He arrived in what appeared to be the nursery, and saw a weeping Lily between two cribs, each containing a single child.

"Lily dear, don't make this harder than this has to be. Just hand over the children. You'll find James is downstairs, a bit bruised, but very much alive. Oh, he will need a new wand though. Now, unfortunately, I've made a Magical Vow not to kill you. Will you please give me the twins now?"

After Lily continued crying, but not resisting, perhaps not she didn't realize he was there. Voldemort rolled his eyes, and shot a **Stupefy** at her. She dropped to the floor, seemingly lifeless.

Voldemort closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened his eyes. He had acquired the Mage Sight some time ago with the help of a ritual, and was now able to see the morality of any given being. Helpful when converts wizards and witches.

He looked at the crib on his left, that was pink. Likely containing the female twin. His Mage Sight, seeing a deep blue aura leaking from the crib like mist, told him that she was not the Chosen One. Powerful, yes, but nothing that could defeat him.

He looked to his right, and nearly had to take a step back. How he had not felt the pitch-black aura that came from the child before was beyond even him. Where his sisters aura was like a mist, this ones aura was a solid black, almost a void of evil. Perhaps Snape hadn't deserved that last **Crucio**…

"My deepest apologies young Potter. Harry, if memory serves. But I must do this. Had circumstances been different, I am sure that we would be very good friends." As Voldemort raised his hand, a stray thought crossed his mind. Assuming that this Prophecy was true, this child had the potential to defeat him. Best not to burn any bridges that could be saved. "And if, by some disaster, or miracle if that's your inclination, you survive, I ask only that you forgive me. For you see, there is a prophecy about someone. Many believe it to be about you, your sister, or someone named Neville Longbottom. They claim that one of you will have the power to defeat me. Curiously, it does not say that you _will_ defeat me, only that you _can_ defeat me."

"And now, the test. This should be quick Harry. **Avada Kedavra**!" A green bolt sprang from the Dark Lords wand, and headed towards Harry. As it enveloped Harry, he glowed a sick shade of green, and the bolt sprang back at Voldemort. _Well, I suppose this is what I get for personally hunting someone who was prophesied to kill me. At least I have my Horcruxes. I wonder how long it will take me to return…_

As his body was destroyed, the self-destruct spells he had cast on himself years ago took effect. In case of death, there was to be no evidence, save some ash, for Dumbledick to show off. It would help for when he returned, since people would be more likely to believe it, having little to no evidence that he was ever gone in the first place.

First his left arm exploded in fireball. That hurt. Evidently, young Harry Potter was not yet powerful enough to launch a Killing Curse that would immediately kill.

Next was his right leg. Thankfully, darkness took him after that.

But had Voldemort lasted just a minute longer, he would have seen the flame that came from his right arm hit the ceiling. He would have seen a beam fall into Jainas crib, creating a wound on her left cheek that looked like a snake. He would have seen how fascinated Harry was by the flame the had erupted on the side of his crib. How Harry had reached out to touch it, only to pull back at the last second.

If he had lasted two minutes longer, he would have seen Dumbledore Apparate in front of Godrics Hollow, revive James, rush upstairs, revive Lily, and pull both Jaina and Harry out of their cribs, before running out of the now inflamed house. He would have seen them Apparate to Potter Mansion.

**(At Potter Mansion)**

Lily and James were on a couch, hugging their children, glad that they were all alive.

Dumbledore, standing by the fireplace, read an analysis by the Aurors. He approached the Potters. "My old friends, I fear I bring bad news."

James smiled. "What could possibly be bad? We're alive, You-Know-Who is dead, all is well now! The war is over!"

"You know, you're crazy if you think you've heard the last of this guy. He's gonna kill again." Dumbledore replied.

"How do you know?" Lily asked.

"'Cause he likes it." Dumbledore grimly replied.

"Headmaster, I think my wife was asking how You-Know-Who can kill if he is dead." James said, putting off the question of Dumbledores sanity for another time.

"Oh. Well, I believe that Voldemort has made a Dark Artifact called a Horcrux, or, more likely, several of them. They will allow him to lose his physical form several times, once for each Horcrux, until they are all destroyed. Only then will we be truly rid of him."

James and Lily exchanged a look of fear between them. "What should we do Dumbledore?" Lily asked.

This was exactly how Dumbledore liked it. When faced with a problem, look to him, and his eternal wisdom. "I'm afraid the best option would not sit well with you."

James flinched, already having an idea of where this was headed. Lily however, not wanting to believe what he would suggest, said, "I'm sure you wouldn't do anything that wasn't in the best interest of everyone here."

Dumbledore, while maintaining a neutral face, said, "Very well. Let me explain some things. First, I believe that the Prophecy that I told you both of previously was about your daughter, Jaina." The Potters nodded, remembering that the Prophecy had claimed that Voldemort would mark the Chosen One, and there was a snake scar on Jainas cheek. So Dumbledore continued, "Well, we will have to train her, to make sure she is the Sword of the Light, yes?" Again, the Potters nodded. "And I would be correct in assuming that this would take up almost all of your time?" The Potters nodded, James slightly more solemn than Lily. "And this would leave very little time for Harry?"

Lily, finally understanding what's going on, removed her hands from James. "We will NOT favor her! We can train her, and love him! That's the job of parents, to love and PROTECT their children!"

James looked away, hoping that Dumbledore could convince her by himself.

"Lily dear, I am doing this for his own good-"

"How would separating him from his family do him any good!"

"He may resent his sister for receiving more attention than him, and he may grow Dark."

"And he may not, the future is always in motion!" Lily all but shouted.

"I thought the same way about Tom." Dumbledore stated. This time however, he showed a fraction of regret, the first sliver of emotion in the conversation.

"My Harry is not Tom Riddle! He is an infant that doesn't know his own name, let alone a Killing Curse!"

To this, Dumbledore sat in a chair across from the Potter. He wordlessly summoned a small fireball from the fireplace, and held it in his hand. He looked around, and pulled out his wand, and levitated a flower over to him. He then transfigured the flower to a small dagger. "If you would humor an old man Lily. Pretend this dagger is Jaina. Sharp, deadly, and crafted by us. The fire will represent us, and our training. Harsh, and sometimes painful, but just as the Sun gives us life, so too shall her training. For without her, Voldemort shall surely return."

"Great. Fantastic. So what?" Lily impatiently asked.

He held the dagger closer to the flame, looked at it. "Tell me, what does the Light create?"

James knew what it created. He had seen what it had created. He looked to Lily, and saw her confusion. "It creates a shadow. The Light that hits the Dagger causes a shadow to appear behind the Dagger. He thinks that Harry will grow jealous of Jaina." After a pause, James also said, "I agree."

Lily looked at her husband, and saw that she was outnumbered. She glared daggers for a second, but couldn't keep it up. "I will see him again."

To Dumbledore, this was an acceptable compromise. "Of course. I will personally make sure that he attends Hogwarts. You have a muggle sister, if memory serves?"

"NO! Not the Durselys! They despise magic, and would beat him daily! I doubt he would survive long enough to go to Hogwarts…" Lily said.

"A muggle orphanage then?" Dumbledore suggested.

"Pardon me, but why does it have to be a _muggle_ orphanage?" James asked.

"So that he grows up away from any potential fame he may have. I believe it would be best this way." Dumbledore explained.

James nodded. He knew that Dumbledore would never intentionally do something malicious. Lily however, wasn't as sure. "What fame would he have? If Jaina is The-Girl-Who-Lived, what would Harry be? The-Boy-Who-Watched?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Something like that. But keep in mind, if he were to go into a Wizard home, then he would be identified as your son, and grow envious. This way, he will grow up away from that."

"But isn't muggle life supposed to be unbearably tortuous?" Lily asked.

"Pressure makes gems, ease makes decay." Dumbledore said, in his cryptic, grandfatherly tone.

"Fine. As long as you can guarantee me that Harry will grow up happy, safe, and that he will attend Hogwarts, I'll allow it." Lily relented.

James and Dumbledore sighed in relief. "Thank you Lily. I will go find a proper orphanage for Harry now. Perhaps you should say goodbye." As Dumbledore said this, he left the room.

Lily held Harry, while James kept his distance. He didn't care for babies, even if they were his blood. They cried, vomited, and shit their pants to often. Granted, Harry did so far less than the books had said that he would, but still. He also had no intention to go near his wife, who was likely less than happy about abandoning her only son.

**(Somewhere in West Country)**

Dumbledore had found a wonderful muggle orphanage. He entered under the pretense of Social Services, and found nothing wrong with the place. Some children were a bit skinny, likely due to low funds, and others had minor injuries, which Dumbledore attributed to accidents in their youthful adventures. Children were so full of energy, and so empty of wisdom.

He had decided it was perfect for Harry. He would Apparate over to the Potter Mansion, and when the time came, Dumbledore would personally pick up Harry from this home. Before leaving, Dumbledore cast a few Blood Wards, designed to protect Harry if any Death Eaters happened to find him. With that, he left.

**(Ten years later)**

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore walked into the orphanage that he had put Harry Potter, twin brother to The-Girl-Who-Lived, Jaina Potter, in. He had been forced to, since there was the chance that if Harry had grown up with his sister, he would despise her for getting attention that may have otherwise been his, and turn dark. So he placed Harry here, where he would be starved for attention, and thus easy to manipulate. He would be a great help to his sister in the years to come.

Normally, he would send an owl to give the invitation to Hogwarts, as his time could be used more wisely, but he had promised Lily that he would personally gather Harry, and help him get the supplies that he would need to succeed in Hogwarts.

Dumbledore had to admit, when the magic said that Harrys room was 'Darkest Floor, Seventh Room from the Stairway' he was slightly unnerved. But it was not enough to make him break his promise, so here he is, walking in. He saw an adult scolding two children, and approached her. "Hello, I'm here to bring a child named Harry Potter to my school. Can you bring me to him?"

The woman turned to him. "You don't want him. I can bring you someone much better than him."

Dumbledore replied, "No, I must have Harry Potter. Why did you say I wouldn't want him?"

One of the children that the woman was scolding said, "He's not normal. If you say something bad about him, you feel pain. If you eat the best part of the meal, that he wants for himself, you feel sick. If you sleep in the same room as him, you get nightmares. He's evil."

Dumbledore laughed. No one at this age could be even if they were, they deserved a second chance. "All the same, I'm going to have to insist. Please bring him to me now."

The woman nodded, and brought him to the stairs. "Go up three floors, and his room is the seventh down. Good luck."

Dumbledore took the first step, and looked back. "Good luck? What would I need luck for?"

The woman replied, "If you say something he doesn't like, you will feel pain. Good luck." With that, she walked away.

Dumbledore walked up three floors, and found that it was indeed quite dark. He counted the doors, until he found the seventh. He walked in, and discovered the modest room. The only pieces of furniture were a cabinet and a bed. The cabinet was by the door, while the bed was on the far side of the room, directly under the sole window of the room. He found Harry was sitting on his bed, looking out the window.

"Go." Harry said.

Dumbledore felt a shiver run down his spine. That was the first thing Tom Riddle had said to him.

"You're the doctor, right?"

"No, I'm a Professor."

"I don't believe you. She wants me looked at. They think I'm… different."

"Perhaps they're right."

"I'm not mad."

"Hogwarts is not a place for mad people. Hogwarts is a school. A school for magic. You can do things can't you, Tom? That other children can't." Why was Dumbledore saying this? This was his and Toms first conversation, word for word.

"I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who are mean to me. I can make them hurt, if I want... Who are you?"

"Well, I'm like you Harry. I'm different."

"Prove it."

Dumbledore looked towards the cabinet, which lit on fire.

"It looks like something wants out Harry."

Harry glared at the cabinet, which ceased flaming. Dumbledores eyes widened. He hadn't put much power into the spell, but he hadn't expected Harry to attempt to put out the fire.

"But some things shouldn't be known." Harry said.

Dumbledore had no response to that. "I will be back to help you purchase you school supplies."

"No need. I can do that myself. Just give me a list of directions, and a list of things I need. I can get the rest."

Dumbledore hesitated. He had absolutely no desire to be near the boy, but he did make a promise. But, perhaps viewing the magical world by himself would help him see that he needed Dumbledore? Yes, of course it would. "Very well Harry." He started to head towards the door. He prayed that Harry wouldn't say what Tom had said, all those years ago.

"I can talk to snakes too. They fins me… Whisper things…" Harry said. Dumbledore barely resisted running away. This was bringing back all sorts of bad memories. "Is that normal for someone like me?"

Dumbledores only response was to leave.

Harry smirked. That had gone far better than he had even dreamed. He had remembered everything. He remembered how Voldemort had tried to kill him. He remembered his twin sister being falsely named the Girl-Who-Lived. He remembered how Dumbledore had convinced his parents to abandon him. He remembered how his parents barely needed any convincing at all.

He remembered the pain of being beaten by the other children. He remembered the hunger he felt when he was starved by the adults.

He remembered the joy of inflicting pain onto others. He remembered the glee he received when he heard the screams of those whom he had given nightmares. He now received the best part of every meal, and a room to himself, unlike every other orphan here.

He had discovered that there was something in his scar a long time ago. He had only recently began to see visions of what he assumed were memories of Voldemort, who he knew to have created the scar.

One that he had seen many times was the first meeting being Voldemort and Dumbledore.

He had seen other things. He had seen that Voldemort wasn't always evil. He had simply wanted change. The Ministry of Magic was obviously corrupt, and needed to be changed. But without support, he couldn't do anything. So he adopted the Pureblood mantra, to get temporary support that would help him gain power. But, he had feared death. He feared losing all that he worked for. So he made a Horcrux, in an attempt to obtain immortality. Unfortunately, this came at the price of his sanity.

For each Horcrux he made, he lost a part of his soul. With less of a soul, he had less sanity. Probably why the Horcrux in Harrys scar couldn't do much more than show visions. It was Voldemorts sixth Horcrux, so it only had one-sixty fourth of a soul.

But now, it was time for Harry to go to Hogwarts. He was very excited.

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><p><span><em><strong>And scene.<strong>_

_**I apologize for the rushed chapter. I realize that I probably should have put more about Harrys childhood, but I can't resist, I want to go to the Hogwarts Years. It's where all of the fun is, we all know it. I promise that future chapters won't be as awful as this one.**_

_**I plan to put about four chapters per school year, and one or two every summer.**_

_**Now, I promised to say who I would put into Harrys harem. Here goes nothing.**_

_**Jaina Potter (Twincest) Luna Lovegood, the Patil Twins, the Carrow Twins, Susan Bones, Daphne and Astoria Greengrass, Hermione Granger (maybe, might not), Tonks (younger), Fleur and Gabrielle Delacour, along with at least two more OCs, and anyone else I think I can throw in. **_

_**Be warned, there will be OCs, some of which will be in Harrys harem, others won't.**_

_**I'm all for suggestions on who to put in Harrys harem, but don't take it poorly if I tell you to fuck off. Also, I will not put any mothers in there, don't try to convince me that MILFs are cool. It's all good if you like it, but don't bother trying to change my mind.**_

_**Looking for a Beta, or just someone who I can bounce ideas off of, and get to pre-read this for grammar errors. I hate those things.**_

_**Leave a review, it tells me that you care. And I do tend to update quicker on more popular stories.**_


	2. Diagon Alley

Dirty Harry – Chapter Two

_**I think I said there would be long waits between chapters. If I didn't, I'm telling you now.**_

_**First, this is now my second most popular Fic, which grew to be better than my first Harry Potter Fic in a matter of days. When I'm writing this, it got over 100 favorites in just the first chapter. But it only got eight reviews. Come on you guys. You can do better.**_

_**Anyway, I forgot to say back in the first Chapter, but Harry isn't going to be wildly OP until at least his fifth year. Nothing will go perfectly, although most things will go nicely. If I say 'That's fucking stupid', that's me saying that some clechè is absolutely ridiculous. You know the ones. Heir to Merlin, King of Magic, fuck all of that. No eleven year old should be that powerful. But Harry will get there. Eventually.**_

_**I should also mention that Harry had been swept under the rug, to such a point that only a handful of people remember him (Dumbledick, Lily, James, Molly W., Sirius Lupin) but Jaina (the twin) does not know of him, as her parents wanted her to focus on defeating Voldy.**_

_**On with the story.**_

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><p><em>Bank Robber: I gots to know!<em>

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><p>"Talking"<p>

**Spells**

_Thinking_

_§Parsletongue§_

Narration

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><p>Harry may have overestimated his ability to get to Diagon Alley. He had a not that had directions on it, given to him by an owl sent by Dumbledore, but it was quite a walk.<p>

Harry was many things. Powerful, a genius, a wizard, but he was not an athlete.

He learned that sometime during the first mile.

He was on the fourth mile right now, panting like a dog. _Only two more miles… _"May as well go over what I need. A wand, a wallet, robes, those books, potion supplies. Not to bad."

An hour and a half later, Harry arrived at The Leaky Cauldron, tired as panda after a marathon. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to get a meal unless he had Wizard money, he went up to Tom, who he assumed would let him into Diagon Alley. "Excuse me sir, would you mind letting me into Diagon Alley?"

Tom stopped cleaning the counter to look at the small boy before him and said, "Where's your parents? If you're a muggleborn, then you should have a teacher to help you."

Harry merely replied, "Nope. My parents just dropped me off. They knew that I would know where everything is, but I guess they forgot that you need a wand to get in."

Tom chuckled, and led Harry to the secret entrance. "That happens more often than you'd think. First year I assume? You know where everything is right?"

Harry replied, "Yes sir."

"Alright, well if you need anything, just ask me or any of the shop owners, they're all good people. Make sure not to go in Knockturn Alley. That's not a place for kids." He then tapped the wall, which opened, revealing the entrance to Diagon Alley.

"If you say so sir. Thanks for opening this up." Harry gave a fake smile, and went in.

The wall closed after Harry entered, and Harry made his way to Gringotts. He entered, and was surprised by how little respect the Goblins were given by the wizards. _Why would you insult the ones who guard your money?_ Harry sighed, and stood in line. About ten minutes later, Harry walked to a Goblin, and said, "Hello, I'd like to withdraw some money."

The Goblin, without looking up, said, "Name?"

"Harry Potter." Harry replied.

The Goblin moved his book aside, and got another one from under the desk. He flipped through the pages, until he found what he was looking for. "Which Bank account would you like to withdraw from?"

Harry paused. _I have more than one bank account? That's cool I guess._ He shrugged, and said, "Potter Trust fund. Or the equivalent, I wasn't told the name."

The Goblin looked at the page, paused, made an angry face, and said, "You have been disowned by the Head of the Potter family. You no longer have access to the Potter Vault."

Harry frowned. He knew he was abandoned, but this was a bit far. "I don't suppose it gives the reason why I was disowned?"

The Goblin once more frowned. "As a matter of fact, it does. It says that you were disowned because 'Jaina needs all she can get'. That's all it says." The Goblin paused, then turned around, and yelled, "Hey Shortsword, next time the Potters come around, make sure to fine them double for everything! For Justice!"

Harry heard a voice yell back, "Sure, I'll make sure to fine the Potters triple next time I see them! For Justice!"

Harry smiled. He liked these Goblins. "Did you say I have more than one account?"

The Goblin faced Harry for the first time, and said, "Yes. You also have access to the Peverell Trust fund. Once you become of age, or the current Head dies, you will have access to the Slytherin Vault, as you are the Heir of Slytherin by conquest."

"I'm sorry? I'm eleven, I haven't conquered anything." _Yet._ Harry said, and thought.

"It says here that you defeated the Head of Slytherin House ten years ago, however you did not kill him, thus you are only the Heir. Until he says otherwise, you only have access to the Trust Vault."

"Oh. Something like that did happen. What's in the trust Vaults? Anything other than money?"

"Five thousand Galleons that renew each year for both. Nothing other than that I'm afraid." The Goblin paused. "Last I checked, Tom Marvalo Riddle was the Head of Slytherin. He was also known as Lord Voldemort. However, the only person to have defeated him is the Girl-Who-Lived, Jaina Potter." The Goblin left the obvious question hanging in the air.

Harry decided that he would also let it hang in the air. That is, until he realized that the Goblin obviously had no intention of replying until he was answered. So Harry said, "Weird." _Please let that be the end of this._

The Goblin clearly would have none of that. "Yes. Very weird. Almost as if Dumbledore had been wrong when he pronounced Jaina the Girl-Who-Lived."

Harry maintained his emotionless face. "Almost. Can I get my money now?"

The Goblin grinned. "Very well. We happen to have wallets that have an Undetectable Extension Charm on it for first years like yourself. How much would you like?"

"I'll take all of it I suppose. How do I get access to the full Vaults?"

"By being an adult." The Goblin said. "Anything else would be fucking stupid. Why would you give a first or second year, or Merlin forbid, a child who hasn't even gone to Hogwarts yet, full access to a Vault full of priceless artifacts, tomes of knowledge that could end the world, and endless wealth?"

Harry had to resist drooling. That would be fun. "Whatever. Just gimme my money."

The Goblin did, and Harry left. If Harry had taken just a moment longer, he would have seen the same Goblin that had helped him close his desk and walk into the Managers office.

Harry first made his way to Ollivanders Wand Shop. He walked in, and found Ollivander sleeping in his chair. After a moment of prodding, he woke up.

Ollivander blinked twice, and saw Harry. He then said, "Ah, Mr. Potter. I was wondering when you would show up."

Harry was surprised. He hadn't expected anyone to know him. "You're expecting me? I'm surprised anyone even knows me. I doubt my parents would want to say that they had abandoned their son."

Ollivander hummed, and said, "Yes, yes, you're quite right. They have let the memory of you die, so that few would even recognize the name Harry Potter. But I am one of the few. Now, what kind of wand do you want hm? One that is powerful? Or one that is skilled? Big? Or Small? Or maybe you want a Goldylox one? Which is it?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Just give me one that'll work for a Year or Two, I intend to make my own eventually."

"Oh is that right? Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but that's not only illegal, but also impossible for someone who hasn't undergone years of training. However, I can certainly do so for you. It should take about a week."

"Really? That'd be great! Thank you!"

"Yes, it would only cost you one hundred and fifty thousand Galleons. Do you have it on hand or would you like to write a check?" Ollivander asked. He had a kind, innocent smile on his face.

Harry on the other hand, was stunned. "I don't suppose I could convince you to do it for less than ten thousand Galleons? As a favor? Or maybe out of the kindness of your heart?"

"No."

"How much does a non-personally-crafted wand cost?"

"Seven Galleons."

"Why does it matter if you personally make me a wand or if I get one of the rack?"

"Because the Ministry of Magic doesn't want anyone to become overtly powerful. Personally fitted wands are several times more powerful than regular fitted wands. Especially if one were to put Runes on the wand. I take it that you will need a wand off the rack?"

Harry sighed. "I suppose so."

Harry left, with what he considered to be a very inadequate wand. He made his way to Madam Malkins to get his Robes. He walked in, and observed the people inside. There was a Goblin sitting in the corner, going over a book with one of the employees, and there was a boy with pale white hair, which matched his pale skin. To his right, stood a girl about Harrys height, with dark black hair down to her waist. Harry stood next to the girl, waiting to be helped.

Harry raised an eyebrow when the boy asked, "So which House do you guys think you'll be put in? It's definitely going to be Slytherin for me. Best House really."

The girl immediately snorted. She replied, "Slytherin? The House that spits out nothing but Dark Wizards like Voldemort?"

The boy whipped his head towards the girl. "Don't say his name!"

Harry, who was staring at a poster of a rather curvy woman in the corner, had thought that he had said this out of fear. Until he looked over and saw that they boys face was contorted in rage. "Why on Earth would I not say the word Voldemort?"

Now the boy was mad at him. A light shade of red was now touching his face.

"After all, he's dead, defeated by a baby."

The boys face was now a healthy shade of red.

"Honestly, he's entirely pathetic."

Now it wasn't such a healthy shade of red.

"To be defeated by a baby? It makes you wonder how intelligent his followers were."

Now it was purple. A rather nasty shade of purple.

"It's a wonder that they managed to do anything at all, with what little power they must have had to willingly follow someone who could be defeated by a baby."

Then the boy exploded. Not literally, that would have been to convient for Harry. Instead, the boy screamed, "How dare you insult He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! He was a glorious fighter who had more power in his pinky finger than you do in your entire body!" He then stormed out of the store.

The girl laughed. She turned to him, for the first time looking at him, and he noticed her eyes. Almost identical to his, they were a beautiful shade of green, as opposed to his own Avada Kadabra shade. Harry didn't really want to meet her this soon, but he supposed it had to happen sooner or later. At least she got the same good looks that Harry had.

"That was awesome! I'm Jaina Potter, The-Girl-Who-Lived, please don't ask for an autograph. Which House do you think you'll be in? I'm definitely going to be in Gryffindor."

"Uh, I wasn't going to ask for your autograph. Do people do that often?"

"More often that you'd think, or I'd like."

Harry chuckled. "I don't know which House I'll be in. None seem particularly appealing. Gryffindor is dumb, Hufflepuff useless, Ravenclaw nerdy, Slytherin… Well, that guy's a prime example of why I don't want to go in Slytherin."

"Hey! Gryffindors are not dumb!" She snarled.

Harry took another look at her. "You're cute when you're angry, you know that?" She blushed, and Harry continued, "Anyway, let's see. How about a test to prove it?"

Jaina hesitated just a moment to long, her face now one of nervousness rather than anger. "How can I be expected to take a test if we haven't even been to Hogwarts yet?"

"You're parents didn't teach you any magic at all? You didn't read any books about monsters?" A bit of a potshot, but she deserved it. She had gotten their parents,

Jaina huffed. "Fine. Hit me with your best shot."

"Why do the Goblins dislike witches and wizards?"

"Because… They're jealous of our superior magic!" Jaina confidently stated.

"Because you treat them with no respect. Because you deny them wands."

"Close enough." Jaina said with a wave of her hand. Madam Malkins said that Jaina was done, and she made to leave. Right before she left, she said, "Wait, I never got your name. What was it?"

Harry paused. He could say Harry, or Harry Potter, or even 'your twin brother', but decided on saying, "It's a secret. You'll find out on the Sorting though."

Slightly angered, but knowing he was right, she left.

A few minutes later, Harry left as well. He made his way to Flourish and Blotts, to get his books. He walked into the crowded store, and eventually found an employee. "I need to get the first year books."

The employee said, "Just go the counter, they have a package there." He then walked off.

Deciding that he had nothing better to do, Harry browsed the bookshelf. He found the most interesting books to be on the second story. Harry settled on _Runes A-Z, Arithmacy 123, _and _Ten Friendly and Unfriendly Spells Everyone Should Know_. He brought those three and went to the counter. He bought his books, and left.

Not really wanting to make the walk back to the orphanage just yet, he decided to get some ice cream.

Was it immature? Yes. But Harry was hungry, it was hot, and he had a good book to read. Three in fact.

So he ordered a bowl of Cookie Dough Ice Cream, one of two muggle flavors, and sat down. He decided it would be best to start with the basics, and opened _Ten Friendly and Unfriendly Spells Everyone Should Know_.

Harry turned to page one, and raised his eyebrow.

_Hey all you goofy goobers! Are you a muggleborn that has never thought magic was real? Or are your parents just dumb as fuck? Either way, this book is the book for you!_

_The Ten Friendly Spells!_

_Accio – Accio is the summoning Charm. Ever lost your homework? Toad ran away? Or maybe you're just a lazy and you don't want to get off your fat ass to grab that candy bar that's JUST out of reach! Whatever you need, this will bring it to you! Note: Range and speed will depend on the users power, and if the object has an obstacle, the object may or may not go through, and may or may not be destroyed, so use carefully._

_Alohomora – The Unlocking Charm. Want to get in the girls bathroom? Lost the key to your trunk? Guess what, this'll help with that! Unlocks a lock in case it was unclear. Note: The better the lock, the more powerful the user will nee to be. Also, see Colloportus for the Locking Charm. The stronger the user, the better it will lock._

_Aeris Bullae - __Bubble Head Charm. Big kids keep shoving your head in the toilet? Guess what, we got a fix for that! Creates a bubble of air that allows the target to breathe underwater. Note: This may lead to harsher treatment if your attackers discover that this no longer works._

_Cantis – The Singing Spell. Want to impress a certain someone? Or maybe you're taking a test, and your nemesis is just a little to confident over there, and REALLY needs to get a zero? This is definitely for you. Target will sing until the user chooses to stop. Note: Users power has no effect on the spell, the target will sing just as loudly and as well if you're Merlin Incarnate or a Weasley._

_Engorgio – The Inflating Charm. Got a good apple? Want to make to bigger to last longer? Or maybe that girl over there would be prettier if her tits were twice as big? This is DEFINTELY the spell for that. Makes target grow until user chooses to stop. Note: Girls may not like this spell when used on them. See Reducio Spell for reversing effects._

_Levis Pluma - Featherlight Charm. Books to heavy? Trunk to big? Or maybe you're just a fucking wimp, unable to do manual labor? Makes target light as a feather. Note: Cast on single objects, such as individual books, not entire towers._

_Lumos – Lighting Charm. Sneaking around in the dark? Lost in the Forbidden Forest? Caught in Devils Snare? This is for you. Create a ball of light on your wand. Note: See Lumos Maxima to shoot a ball of light, or Lumos Solem to shoot a ray of light, as bright as the Sun._

_Plena Iterum - Refilling Charm. Professor left his cup of wine on the table? Don't want to get up to grab that second drink? This is for you. Refills a cup to the brim with the last liquid to enter it. Note: Author is not responsible for any underage drinking._

_Extensio Ignoti - Undetectable Extension Charm. Trunk to small? Got a hundred and one books but only one bag? This is for you. Makes any container bigger on the inside, and smaller on the outside._

_Puella Steriles - Contraception Charm. You know you'll need this soon. It doesn't matter who you are, you'll need it eventually. Unless you're ugly as fuck._

_Ten Unfriendly Spells:_

_Bombarda – Explosion Spell. Ever think something needs… A little… Less? Then this is for you! Blow up an annoying Gargoyle, destroy a nasty lock, or obliterate your foes! Note: Bombarda Maxima is a stronger version of this spell._

_Episkey – Minor Healing Spell. Got hit by a nasty spell? Your lovers boyfriend broke your nose? This is for you! Note: Heals only minor wounds, broken bones at best. See real medical experts for serious injuries, or diseases._

_Expecto Patronum – Doubly useful. Originally thought of as a spell to repel Dementors and Lethifolds, Professor Dumbledore discovered that it can also be used to transfer messages if corporeal form is achieved. Note: Incredibly difficult to cast, it is considered a great feat if one can make a wisp, let alone a corporeal form. User must focus on his or her happiest moment._

_Expelliarmus – Disarming Spell. A staple dueling spell. Note: Easily defended with a counter spell, but there is no gauntlet that prevents disarming, as that would be fucking stupid._

_Incendio – Fire Making Spell. Are you a budding Pyromaniac? This is for you! Create fire in any form! Note: Incendio Duo and Incendio Tria are each more powerful versions. This Author is not responsible for any destruction of property or death._

_Partum Papulae - Pimple Jynx. Someone looking to good for your liking? Maybe they're flirting with someone they shouldn't? This is the solution. Note: More powerful the user, the more pimples, and the longer the pimples will last._

_Protego – Shield Spell. Creates a Shield that protects user from most damaging spells. Note: Does not protect user form the Killing Curse._

_Reducto – The Reduction Curse. Ever think that the wall between the boys spa and girls spa would be better if it was a pile of ash? Then this is for you! _

_Stupefy – Stunning Spell. A great staple spell. Knocks out target, for a duration that depends on the users power._

_Afflicto - Stinging Hex. Bully gone one step to far? This is for you. Note: For male targets, aim for the crouch. May cause Comas._

Harry laughed. Clearly, the Author was insane, but was helpful nonetheless. He made a note to learn the non-explosive spells at the orphanage, and packed up his things before leaving.

* * *

><p><strong>(Three weeks ago. Full-of-shit-fill-in.)<strong>

Nymphadora 'don't call me Nymphadora' Tonks was walking into Professor Snapes class to give him a letter Dumbledore had given her for him. Why he couldn't simply send it via Patronus was beyond her, but she was just a Junior Auror, not experienced enough to ask questions.

She opened the door, to find Snape in the back of his classroom, stirring a cauldron of some Potion. She went up to him, handed him the note, and walked towards his desk.

She leaned over the cauldron, to see what was inside, and found it to be some sort of smelly, green liquid.

Snape approached her from behind, and asked, "What does he mean, 'You can't poison students to test their cures'?"

Tonks, unprepared for the question, jumped, and fell into the cauldron.

Snape gave it a minute or two, before saying, "I suppose this is as good as any way of testing if this de-aging spell works. I'll give it another minute, and see what happens."

* * *

><p><strong>(Two weeks ago)<strong>

Dumbledore, Snape, Madam Pompfrey, and Andromeda Tonks surrounded Tonks, who was unconscious in the Hospital Wing.

"Dumbledore, I want SNAPES HEAD!" Andromanda yelled.

"Now Andy, Snape made a mistake-" Dumbledore started.

"No, a mistake is when you take a right turn instead of a left turn. This was an ATTACK, and I will treat it as such. Fire Snape or I'll press charges!"

"Then press charges. You won't win." Dumbledore said, before leaving with Snape.

Andromanda sighed, before turning to Madam Pomfrey. "What's going to happen to her?"

"She'll lose several years of memory, likely right up until she joined Hogwarts. I'm terribly sorry."

"I suppose it's not to much of a burden to have a little girl again."

They all left, but not before Madam Pomfrey muttered under her breath, "This is just fucking stupid."

* * *

><p>The seven Chief Goblins entered the War Room, each taking a seat on a circular table.<p>

"We are gathered here today to discuss the growing instability of the Wizarding World at large." One Goblin said.

"Yes, yes, we all know that First Chief. Just get to the damn point." Another Goblin said.

The first Goblin sighed, and said, "No. We are at a breaking point, and must find a solution. I suggest we elect a Champion, to lead a successful rebellion to not only gain us rights, but make us equal, if not superior, to humans."

The Goblin closest to the door spoke, "And who would you suggest? Not that pathetic excuse for a Dark Wizard again?"

The other Goblins laughed.

The First Chief said, "Lord Voldemort is a viable option."

The Second Goblin Chief replied, "My foot may be good for walking, but I'm not ready for a marathon. There is one who is destined to defeat _Tom Marvalo Riddle_, in case you forgot his name."

The one at the end of the table now spoke. "Comrades, perhaps we can discuss someone else for a change. Recently, the Heir to the Ancient and Noble House of Slytherin, and Peverell has returned to the magical world. Perhaps we should observe him, to see if he is worthy of being our Champion?"

The First Goblin laughed. "Ha! Do you mean that scrawny little twat that came in today? He doesn't have training, or funds! How do you expect him to defeat anything greater than a baby?"

The Fifth Goblin Chief spoke. "Because he is the Chosen One." The room was now silenced. All attention was now on the Fifth Goblin Chief. "It was revealed to me, by my subordinate, that Harry Potter is the Chosen One, who defeated Tom Marvalo Riddle all those years ago. I suggest we lend him minor support, until we can determine whether he is worthy. Agreed?"

When all the Goblins agreed, the Fifth Goblin Chief told one of his aids to send Harry Potter two wands, and they disbanded.

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>It's Red. Sorry about that shit at the end of the Chapter, but I wanted to make Tonks younger, so she would be closer to Harry's age. And I want the Goblins to support Harry, but not fully. So yeah.<strong>_

_**It's still rushed, isn't it? ***__**Sighs* I swear it'll get better once Hogwarts actually starts, this Prologue is just SO boring to write.**_

_**Thanks to Mynameis1212 for being my Beta.**_

_**Leave a fucking review guys, eight reviews to over one hundred favorites and nearly two hundred follows is kinda silly.**_


	3. From London to Hogwarts

Dirty Harry - Chapter Three

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>I'M BACK BITCHES!<strong>_

_**So how's life?**_

_**Sorry I was gone for five weeks. Mock Trial is starting up for me, but it should be done in about three weeks, then I can update sooner. As it stands, most of my days are consumed by it. But it's fun, so I won't complain to much. Expect the next Chapter either by next Sunday, or in three weeks. It really is a flip of the coin with me.**_

_**So you're going to hear something, and you might think that it will lead to rape, and even worse, angst as a genre, but I assure you, it won't. I will steadfastly remain a lighthearted perverted Author. And I'm against rape, and the inevitable angst it leads to. Unless I'm in an angst mood. But I have a different Fic for that. So don't get your panties in a bunch.**_

_**Anyway, Here's this. It's kind of a 'meh' Chapter, but oh well. You'll learn a bit more about my Fics changes. Hope you all like Slytherin Harry as much as I do!**_

_**I don't actually know what Daphne is supposed to look like. It doesn't really say on the Wikia, so I just went with what I've heard around the site. Bite me if you don't like it.**_

* * *

><p>"Speech"<p>

_Thoughts + emphasized speech_

**Spells**

_**Authors Note**_

Narration

* * *

><p>A month after Harry went to Diagon Alley, Harry arrived at the London Train Station. He had no real idea how one was supposed to get to this 'Platform 9 ¾', but he knew that he would find some way. Currently, he was sitting on the bench in the far end of the London Train Station, waiting for someone else to come by.<p>

Soon enough, he saw six gingers walk by complaining about the 'muggles'. After that, they each ran into the third column from Platform Nine the one just right of Platform Ten one-by-one until just the youngest male, the mother, and the only girl were left.

The boy yelled, "Mum, you said Jaina Potter would be here! I want to meet her! Where is she?!"

The mother lightly whacked the back of the boys head, and shoved him towards the pillar that his apparent brothers (if the hair was anything to go by) had gone through. He ran in, and with that, he was gone.

The mother then turned to the girl. "Now Ginny, do you remember what I told you about the Potters son?" She asked questioningly, hoping to spend upcoming months in the conditioning of her daughter.

The girl, now identified as Ginny, nodded. "Yes. Next year, when I enroll at Hogwarts, I am to try to make him fall in love with me, so that we may make a claim to the Potter fortune. I may do anything necessary, including hurting others, and putting out." She paused, then continued with a sinister grin plastered on her face, "I can't wait to manipulate him. I like the idea of holding his emotions in my hands."

Harry snickered. _Mental note to self: Don't talk to gingers._

And with that, the two gingers left.

Harry got his cart of supplies, then moved to the column. He took a deep breath, and ran in. He emerged on the other side, in a similar train station, but with a train present. The whistle blew, and Harry sighed in relief. He left his cart with some sort of imp and boarded. He decided to leave his ratty owl with his cart.

* * *

><p>About ten minutes into the train ride, someone knocked on the door.<p>

"It's open. Come on in." Harry said.

A young girl with silky silver hair a little past her shoulders and violet eyes walked in. "Hello. I'm Daphne Greengrass. Do you mind if I sit in here? It's difficult finding seating on the first year train without hearing somebody gush about Jaina Potter…"

Harry shrugged, and replied, "Sure, have a seat. I'm Harry by the way. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand for her to shake.

Daphne looked at his hand for a second, before saying, "Just Harry? No last name?"

Harry smiled in response. "I prefer it to be a surprise. You'll find out at the Sorting though, so you won't be kept waiting to long."

Daphne considered this, nodded, and shook his hand. Of course, Harry took this opportunity to kiss the back of her hand. She blushed, and took the seat opposite Harry.

"So what House do you think you'll be in Daphne?" Harry asked.

Daphne frowned for a slight second. "I'd prefer to go into Ravenclaw, but my parents want me to go to Slytherin. What about you?"

"I don't know. They all seem to have their ups and downs. Like you, I suppose I'm inclined to Ravenclaw. But I am curious, why don't you want to go into Slytherin?"

Daphne scoffe. "You mean other than the fact that it's made up entirely of sexist and racist bastards?"

Harry grinned. "Yeah, besides that!"

A small grin crossed Daphnes face. "Well, I'm not exactly fond of the gangs they create for the pure sake of motivation to obtain more power."

Harry tilted his head, and looked out the window. "Gangs? What gangs?"

Daphne raised an eyebrow. "You mean you really don't know? Well, I suppose I can tell you." She opened her mouth to explain, but then pointed her finger at Harry, saying, "But if anyone asks, it was the Malfoy git that told you, got it?"

Harry chuckled. "Got it."

Daphne nodded. "Alright then. It goes like this. The creator of the Slytherin House, Salazar Slytherin, wanted his House to be the strongest. So in order to do that, he decided that in each Years Class, there would be two 'gangs'. Slytherin calls them 'peerages', but they're essentially gangs. It was designed so that they compete with each other to grow to be the strongest."

"I don't get it." Harry interrupted. "Do they win anything other than bragging rights?"

Daphne nodded. "Yeah. I think I mentioned before that Slytherin is made up of entirely of sexists assholes, yes?"

"Yeah, something like that." Harry replied.

"Well, the gangs are always headed up by males. The gangs leaders usually duel every so often to bet members, with the winner taking the losers member. There are essentially only three rules: you're not obligated to accept a duel, the leader of a gang may choose who he wished to bet, and above all else, don't get caught." Daphne explained.

"That still sounds like bragging rights to me. " Harry said.

"I was getting there. As I said, the gangs are always headed by males. So the stronger leader will get more women in his gang. And the gang leader will almost always force the female members of his gang to perform… acts… For him and his strongest members." Daphne finished explaining.

Harry scowled. "And the school doesn't do anything? They just let this happen?"

Daphne adopted a solemn face. "Unfortunately, yes. It's considered a tradition, and Hogwarts would never break something that sacred. If it makes you feel any better, the Slytherin members usually look down upon having full intercourse with first years, and undeveloped second years, but that doesn't mean they won't force them to have oral sex, or humiliate them in other ways..."

Externally, Harry wrinkled his nose. Internally, he drooled at the idea of having a group of girls under him, in more ways than one.

"Is it just the two gangs of their Year that can duel each other, or can a Seventh Year duel a First Year?" Harry asked.

"They're allowed to duel whomever they choose. Although as I said, no ones ever obligated to accept. So a Seventh Year could challenge a First Year if he had a loli fetish, but the First Year could just refuse. It keeps things 'fair' in the eyes of the Slytherins."

"How do they choose the leader? Do they always choose the strongest, or the richest, or what?" Harry inquired.

"The upperclassmen and the Head of the House decide. The Head can give his opinion, but it ends up being the Male Prefect for the Seventh Years decision. How they choose varies. Normally it's just whoever has the most political power, but if everyone's about even, or there's a particularly strong Wizard, then they go with him. This year it's going to be Malfoy as the head of one gang, and probably just some strong guy for the other." She paused, then glared at Harry. "You just want to know so that you can become a leader, don't you?"

Harry smiled innocently. "The thought crossed my mind. But seriously, what are the chances that some poor nobody like me could become one those… Are they seriously just called leaders?"

"They call themselves Masters. As for your chances… I don't know. Like I said, they will probably end up choosing whoevers strongest, so you stand as good a chance as any other male. What spells do you know?"

Harry was forced to grin just a bit more evilly than he would have liked. "Have you ever heard of _The Ten Friendly and Unfriendly Spells Everyone Should Know_? It's really something."

"I've heard it's good for muggle-borns. Why did you bother with it?"

"Well, I came from an orphanage, because my parents abandoned me, so I don't know much of anything about magic." Harry lied. Well, the first part was the truth.

"That's sad. Did they do it to potentially save you from You-Know-Who?" Daphne asked.

"No. The opposite in fact. They thought my sister was better, so they abandoned me to focus on training her to help Dumbledore down the road. For what it's worth, I heard she's pretty strong now."

"Oh really? So that's why you didn't want to tell me your last name. In truth, all you're doing is making me want to know more."

Harry shrugged. "Bite me. But now I do think I like the idea of joining Slytherin. It seems like that's the place to go if you want to get stronger. And I really want to stick it to my sister." _'__In more ways than one'_ a voice in the back of his head whispered. "I have to ask, why would you want to join Slytherin at all if you know all about their 'gang' system?"

"My parents might disown me if I don't choose Slytherin. I especially despise the fact that there's a fifty-fifty chance I'll end up in Draco Malfoys gang. Anyway, good luck with sticking it to your sister. I'm going to get something from the candy lady. Do you want anything?" Daphne asked.

"Nah, I'm good. But thanks." Harry replied, getting out _Runes A-Z_, deciding that it was time to start memorizing those.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Daphne came back empty handed, muttering some choice words under her breath.<p>

"So, how was your adventure? See any dragons? Fight any Dark Wizards?" Harry asked.

Daphne glared at Harry. "How was studying nerd? Figure out what pie is? Find a cure for cancer? No? That's what I thought."

Harry continued reading his book, but replied, "Well, I do know that pie is twenty two divided by seven, and cancer is someone elses problem. But what's _your_ problem?"

"The cart lady only wanted to serve Miss 'I-Beat-You-Know-Who-So-Give-Me-Everything'! I couldn't even get a stupid fucking chocolate frog! UG!"

Harry chuckled, and said, "I'll go see if I can get something with my manly charm." After a roll of the eyes from Daphne, Harry asked, "Did you want anything other than a chocolate frog?"

"I'll take some Ice Mice if they have any. But I doubt that you'd be able to get through, the group of kids surrounding Jaina's apartment is blocking the trolley lady from getting to us, and vice versa."

Harry grinned. "Not a problem at all." With that, he got up and opened the door, and looked out. His apartment was directly next to the Second Years trolley, and the group of kids seemed to be hovering near the middle. Jaina probably sat there to get the most attention. That bitch. He took a deep breath, then yelled, "THEY'RE GIVING AWAY FREE CANDY ON THE SECOND YEAR TROLLEY! HURRY BEFORE THEY EAT IT ALL!" He immediately ducked back into his apartment to avoid the charging children.

Daphne laughed at him. Harry smiled. "What? It's going to work. Just watch." After a minute or so, he left to go to the volley lady.

He stood in a short line, with only three people ahead of him. Then someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, to face his twin sister.

"I suppose I should be thanking you for getting me away from that mob. So thank you." Jaina said.

"I'd say no problem, but my friend couldn't get her snacks with your fan club hovering here." Harry replied.

Jaina groaned. "Don't remind me. They never leave me alone. I'd hoped that by going to Hogwarts, I'd have a bit less people to annoy me, but so far my hopes have proven to be useless…"

"How tragic. May I assume you're still going to try to go Gryffindor?" Harry asked.

"I am. Have you decided what House you'll be in? The teachers all say that the Hat decides, but it's really up to you on what House you'll be in. And I'm sure Gryffindor could use someone smart like you." Jaina said.

"Smart? Me?" Harry replied, acting surprised.

"Well not just everyone could get rid of a crowd that easily. And if you did it to help your friend, that could be seen as loyalty. Two very good traits in Gryffindor."

"It could be seen as I was trying to help my friend, or it could be seen as I was trying to get into my friends pants. Tiny things go so far for women. For instance, me getting rid of the crowd will impress her. Me getting her the candy will make her like me. My charming personality will make her love me. And ta-da! I now have a lover!" Harry said, while smiling.

"Huh. That's interesting." Jaina said, while tapping her finger against her chin.

"What?" Harry asked.

"You seem to know a lot about _tiny things_." Jania trailed off, letting the implication hang in the air. Harrys jaw dropped, while Jaina giggled. "I"m kidding. But you're as arrogant as you are smart. Another Gryffindor trait." Jaina answered, with the biggest smirk Harry had ever seen on her face.

"Now that's just mean. A Slytherin trait if I recall." Harry replied.

The smirk was gone, replaced with a glare. "Don't put me in the same group as those disgusting pigs. I'm nothing like them." She paused, then narrowed her eyes. "You're thinking about becoming a Slytherin, aren't you?"

Harry shrugged. "To me, someone who grew up in an orphanage after being abandoned by my parents, it seems… Familiar. Two groups, each fighting for supremecy to become stronger. If I happen to end up being the Master, that's just an extra benefit."

Jaina huffed. "Whatever pervert. Just remember there two things. One: If you join Slytherin, you'd be my enemy, since I'm a natural Gryffindor, and Two: that Draco Malfoy, who will almost certainly become a Master, is actually pretty strong. He comes from a Noble family, and he's had private tutoring since he was a child. _I_ can easily defeat him of course, but I'm probably the only First Year who can. I'm only telling you this because right now, we're friends, but that will change if you join Slytherin."

Harry hummed for a second, before asking, "I'm curious. Would you feel this way if one of your family members was put into Slytherin?"

Jaina thought for a moment, before answering, "I don't know. I'd like to think that I would still love them no matter what, but being a Slytherin is pretty bad…"

"They can't all be bad, can they? If the Slytherin House is a broken clock, shouldn't it still be right twice day?" Harry wondered out loud.

"Well aren't you the budding philosopher." Jaina said. "Get me some Acid Pops, will you?"

"And why should I, my future enemy?" Harry joked.

Jaina blinked twice, smiled, and said, "Because a gentlemen always pays on a date!"

Harry laughed, and turned to see that it was his turn at the trolley. Having money to spare, he bought his sister some Acid Pops, and what Daphne had requested. He gave the Pops to Jaina, who promptly opened the box of candy and threw one in her mouth.

She closed her eyes tight, jumped up and down, before finally squealing, "BITTER!"

Of course, Harry, as an upstanding gentlemen, had no other option other than to laugh.

They went to their apartments, and as Jaina opened her door, Harry peeked in. He saw a bushy brown haired girl, a redheaded girl, and another girl with pink hair and sharp blue eyes. Then she had purple hair with red eyes. Finally, she ended up with Red hair and golden eyes. He considered entering, but decided to continue to Daphne.

Just as he got to his own apartment, Jaina called out to him, "Hey you!" When Harry looked over his shoulder to her, his jaw hit the floor. Jania had stuck her first two fingers in her mouth, and moaned. After a moment, she said, "I can't wait to find out your name!" And with that, she went in and closed the door.

Harry handed Daphne her candy, and resumed his seat by the window, which he stared out of.

"So how'd it go? I can't imagine there was a big line after what you did." Daphne said.

"You're right of course, there was hardly any line. Sadly, it looks like the others are coming back. Oh, but I did talk to my sister just now." Harry replied.

Daphne, who was previously engaged with Harrys Ten Friendly and Unfriendly Spells Every Wizard Should Know, looked up. "Really? What'd she have to say?"

Harry paused. "To be honest, I don't think she knows I'm her twin."

"I thought you said she was just your sister, not your twin?" Daphne exclaimed.

"Nope. We're twins. I was born first, so I'm seconds older than her, but we're twins."

Daphne switches sides of the apartment, so that she was leaning on Harry. "Come on, you're got to tell me!"

"Sorry. Not going to happen." Harry replied.

Daphne huffed, then laid down on the seat, with her head in Harrys lap. Well she's clever if not persistent…

"Ok… I can solve this…" Daphne started. "First, she's a female, which eliminates half of the choices. If your parents abandoned you to help her train to help Dumbledore, that means she has Noble blood and training. In our Year since she's your twin, which she has to be since you just saw her on this trolley, so that leaves only a couple of choices. Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Jaina Potter, Tracey Davis, Pansy Parkinson, and the Patils. You're not related to Pansy since there's not a trace of black in you, nor are you Indian like the Patils, which leaves three. The Bones are far too kind to abandon you, and you don't look like an Abbott, but you do have the classic black hair of the Potters. And I heard the current Mrs. Potter has some beautiful green eyes… Just like yours in fact."

Harry glared down at her. "You're two smart for your own good." Sparkling purple eyes smiling back at him was all he got for his statement. "Tch. Fine. You figured it out. Lucky you. What do you want now?"

Daphne hummed for a moment, and replied, "I'd like to watch you Harry Potter. You're going places, and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be that bad to have as a Master." She crawled onto his lap, leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You like it when I call you Master, don't you?"

Harry resisted groaning, but couldn't help the blush to his cheeks. Daphne giggled and climbed off him, returning to her seat adjacent to him.

"That was cruel." Harry stated.

"It was cute from my perspective." Daphne replied, a grin on her face. She looked out the window for a moment, thinking, _You know, I can't really see a way Harry won't be a Master if he joins Slytherin. And if I know Malfoy, he's probably going to choose all of the males first, thinking that he can just win the girls from his opponent. Maybe joining Slytherin isn't such a bad idea…_ She sighed, and crawled back over to Harrys side of the apartment, before laying down, feet against the door, back on the seat, and her head once again placed on Harrys lap. Not that he was complaining. "The train should arrive in about half an hour. Wake me up when we're ten minutes away, I still need to change into my robes, ok?"

"Sure." Was Harrys only reply. Oh, how little he knew that Daphne intended to change in his apartment, with both of them still in. Surprises really can be a wonderful thing, if only one can learn to accept them.

* * *

><p>In Jaina's apartment, Jaina had just said goodbye in her own manner to her mysterious friend.<p>

"So who was that?" Said the girl with pink hair.

"He won't tell me his name Tonks. Silly really, since I'll find out at the Sorting today." Jaina replied.

"And I take it you like him?" the bushy haired girl asked.

"Shut up Hermione! I do not!" Jaina said, offended by the mere implication of her having a crush.

"I certainly think you do. You're blushing, you love a good mystery, he looks pretty good himself, and you normally despise males, but you seem to enjoy this ones company. Oh, and the fact that you teased him when you 'cleaned' your fingers just now was a small give away." The redhead said.

"Oh be quiet. And so what, if I have a tiny crush on him. That's… normal for someone my age, right? This is healthy." Jaina replied.

"I don't know… Somethings not right about it, but I can't quite put my finger on it…" Hermione said, tapping her finger on her chin. _If I'm right, which I usually am, then this crush is anything BUT healthy and normal…_

* * *

><p>It was time for the Sorting. The children had moved from the train to small boats, where Daphne had taken the opportunity to cuddle with Harry. Again. Then they had been escorted to the entryway of the Grand Hall, where they met McGonagall. A boy had found his then missing toad, and they had been escorted in.<p>

A single lone chair was in front of the Administration Table where Harry recognized his parents, who appeared to be searching for someone. Probably him. The First Years stood between the chair and the House Tables, anxious to be Sorted. Daphne was standing next to Harry.

McGonagall pulled out a scroll from her left pocket, and a hat from her right. She put the hat on the chair, and announced, "Abbott, Hannah."

She was Sorted into Hufflepuff. Then came Susan Bones, who Harry recognized as the redhead from Jainas apartment. And so on and so forth until it was Daphnes turn. She looked at Harry one last time, hugged him, then ran to the chair. It was a bit longer than usual, but the Hat eventually yelled out, "**SLYTHERIN**!"

While Harry smiled and clapped, he heard someone behind him quietly whisper, "Damn… Nice ass…"

Just as he turned around, McGonagall shouted, "Malfoy, Draco!" and the most recent addition to Harrys 'murder' list ran forth from behind him to the chair.

Harry wasn't entirely sure the Hat actually touched Dracos head, but it yelled, "**SLYTHERIN**!" all the same.

It continued on just as boring as before Daphne went up. Until that is, McGonagall shouted, "Potter, Jaina"

Like Draco, Harry wasn't entirely sure that the Hat actually touched her head, as McGonagall still had the Hat in her hand when it screamed, "**GRYFFINDOR**!"

This of course, was expected, but the Gryffindor House table still shot up form their seats and clapped and cheered and whistled, and in two seemingly connected instances, threw fireworks.

Once the cheers had gone down to a reasonable level, McGonagall looked at the list once more. To the discerning eye, one would see that here old eyes widened just a bit, as if remembering something long forgotten. Dumbledore, along with Lily and James Potter seemed to be the only ones in the room with any knowledge of what was about to happen, with all three of them leaning forward in their chairs.

The remaining murmurs of the room died at the same time, as McGonagall called out, "Potter, Harry!"

* * *

><p><em><strong><span>It's me again.<span>**_

_**Ignore the order in which people were called.**_

_**I'm not sure about that last scene. I wanted the dramatic effect, as well as a cliffhanger, but I'm not sure if I did it right. That was my third try if I'm honest. My fourth try if I'm being REALLY honest. Ok, fine, you wore me down, that mess was my fifth attempt. With a Beta. And I'm still unhappy with it. Ug. Whatever. I'll expand on the Sorting next chapter, but you'll have to wait until then.**_

_**Anyway, so here's the deal: No lemons first year, but I'm probably going to have one during Harrys first summer break.**_

_**How was manipulative Ginny? Expect that from all of the Weasleys for the future. They have great things to do in this Fic. Terrible things, yes, but great nonetheless. Oh, but the twins will be excluded. I like twins as a general rule, and those two in particular are awesome.**_

_**I'm probably going to move the Triwizard Tournoment up to Third Year, simply because I adore Fleur and Gabrielle, and because I can't really do a Prisoner of Azkaban with Sirius still running amuck. I could do something with it, but I'd really rather not.**_

_**Lastly, I hope you guys like OCs. I'm going to try to not make any OCs that are extremely relevant to the story, but they will pop up and do random shit. Specifically, I'm going to need to make some for the Slytherin House to buff it up a bit more. Any ideas are welcome, but don't be mad if I laugh or don't reply.**_

**_IMPORTANT:_**

**_Review you guys. I got a ton last time I asked, and really, reviews are what keep Authors writing. Well, that, and I want to hit 1000 Favorites for this Fic, which it's on its way to being. SO REVIEW!_**


	4. Beginning of the Beginning

Dirty Harry Chapter Three – Beginning of the Beginning

**_Hey everyone. It's your favorite Pokémon Master, Red. Before I go any further, I ned to say some things:_**

**_IMPORTANT!_**

**_1. I forgot to say this last chapter, so to make up for it, I'm going to make it all caps this time. THANK YOU MYNAMEIS1212 FOR BEING MY BETA AND NOT ABANDONING ME FOR BEING CRAZY! Seriously though, you've been a great help writing these chapters, and it's been a lot of fun going back and forth on ideas. Thank you._**

**_SLIGHTLY LESS IMPORTANT!_**

**_2. I killed off Tracey Davis and Blaise Zabini. Just pretend they were killed by Voldemort or something. I don't care._**

**_3. Those of you who read my other abandoned Harry Potter Fic know that I stole something from RedJabonson called Helgas Gift. Basically, it goes like this: Helga Hufflepuff had a relationship with Rowena Ravenclaw, and after one of their late night 'discussions' wished that every girl that goes to Hogwarts could feel like her. And a stray perverted Genie saw their love (emotional and otherwise, he was there for awhile) and decided to grant her wish. So now, every girl that goes to Hogwarts will have lesbian tendencies, but will mostly just turn bisexual. It's a perverted concept, but I'm going to use it anyway. Most of you will like it anyway, you perverts._**

**_VERY IMPORTANT AGAIN!_**

**_4. My favorite Harry Potter harem Fic id by Dark Dragen, called 'Rise of Overlord Vulcan' and this has many of his elements in it. Specifically, the part where Harry fucks half of the girls he meets (although I'll try to intro it slowly). Another thing is the crossovers. I don't like crossovers, but this is kind of weird. See, I need more girls for Harrys harem, because Dragen had a shit ton, and I only have a bucket load. So, I decided to steal a bunch of characters from various places to meet his standards. Cookies to anyone who can guess who. Except for one._**

**_5. I am currently looking for a Familiar for Harry. I have many things in mind, so the things you DON'T need to mention are: Dragons, Succubus, Veela, Phoenix, Nundu, Fairy, Vampire, Snake, or Nekomata. I may also do a Dark/Evil version of the mentioned creatures. I would appreciate more ideas, but feel free to just say you like one of the above ideas. Or that you just like me in general._**

**_I apologize for the super long AN. And for the sexist characters in this Fic._**

**_On with the story._**

* * *

><p><p>

Narration

"Speech"

**Spell**

_Thoughts_

_"Sorting Hat"_

**_Authors Note_**

* * *

><p><p>

"Potter, Harry!" McGonagall's voice rang throughout the hall.

What little murmurs remained in the Great Hall were silenced. The only sound that could be heard were the footsteps Harry took to the stool awaiting him.

The reactions among the many among attendance were varying wildly.

For instance, Daphne Greengrass was smiling as Harry approached the stool.

Lily and James Potter were both waiting with baited breathe, on the edge of their seats, to see where their abandoned son would be Sorted.

Jaina looked like a ghost. _Oh dear Merlin. I flirted with my own brother!_

Dumbledore raised his head, just as curious as the Potters as to Harry's placement.

Eventually, Harry reached the stool and sat, just as every Hogwarts student had before him had, and every Hogwarts student after him will. A moment later McGonagall put the Hat on his head, and soon enough a voice spoke in his head.

_"Hello young wizard. I am the Sorting Hat. I was made by The Four Founders of Hogwarts to place students in the House that will best educate them. Now, I'm just going to have a little peek at your memories young one…"_

_Perhaps it's best not to do that Hat._ Harry replied. He could feel the Hat worming in his skull and soon enough was able to make the digging come to a halt.

_"Oh dear. This is quite unfortunate. I don't know if I've ever seen someone like you before. Although I am told of one. But he's not exactly a wizard."_

_Oh? Do tell._ Harry casually replied. Having a voice in his head was not as uncomfortable as one would think after he had gotten the hat to stop the burrowing. Finally having a conversation it appeared to be intelligent, and apparently very conversational.

_"I'm afraid I can't. But don't worry about me telling your plans. I've been sworn to student-Hat confidentiality. Back to business. You have all of the traits in all of the Houses. As Brave as a Gryffindor, as Patient and Hardworking as a Hufflepuff, as Intelligent and Clever as a Ravenclaw, as Cunning and Ambitious as a Slytherin. But if I had to make a call, _**I'D SAY IT'S SLYTHERIN FOR YOU, WIZARD!"**

The last part spoken aloud, the Great Hall was silent for a moment. Then Daphne stood up and clapped, and soon the rest of the Slytherin House was cheering with her. The Ravenclaw House made polite applause, while the Hufflepuff House silently clapped. The Gryffindor House was dead silent.

Jaina now looked as if she was about to be ill.

Lily and James Potter weren't entirely different than their daughter. They knew that leaving Harry to be raised by muggles would leave some negative traits in their son, but to be put in Slytherin…

Dumbledore was shocked. This was not what he intended for Harry. Ideally, he would have been placed in Gryffindor, but quite frankly, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw would have been fine as well. He would need to adjust his plans. Nothing had been done that could not be undone as of yet, but he would need to hurry.

Daphne just smiled, as Harry walked over to take his seat next to her. Her Prince would join her in Slytherin.

Once the Slytherin House calmed down, McGonagall went about Sorting the rested of the witches and wizards. It went by without nearly as much commotion as the Potter twins caused. Eventually, it ended, and Dumbledore rose to the podium in the center of the Teachers Table to speak to the students.

"Hello to all First Years, and to all returning students. As you all know, this is Hogwarts, a school for witches and wizards, and I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but you may call me Headmaster. I must remind you all, as always, that the Forbidden Forest is strictly off-limits. In addition, the third floor corridor will also be off-limits, to anyone who does not wish to die a most slow, miserable death. But on a lighter note, I have a few odd words for you all today." The students all leaned forward, but Dumbledore continued, "And they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you." And with that, Dumbledore returned to his seat.

Harry laughed, and turned to Daphne. "He's a bit mad, isn't he?"

Daphne nodded, and replied, "He's actually a genius. But he's also mad, yes. Would you like a cob of corn?"

Harry shrugged, and took it. "So, do you think anyone besides Malfoy and I could become a Master?"

Daphne shook her head. "Probably not. There is Theodore, who's family is said to be nearly as influential as the Malfoys, but I still think it'll be you."

Harry nodded. "Good."

The Great Feast went along smoothly, until a strange Phoenix flew in, and landed by Harrys plate. "Well this is new." Harry said.

Daphne took a look at it, and said, "That's Dumbledores Patronus I think. You can tell because it's blue and stringy. It probably has a message."

Sure enough, the Phoenix spoke, in Dumbledores voice, "Harry Potter, please see me in my office after the feast is over. The password is Skittles, and I have already informed your Head of House, Severus Snape." It then fell apart, leaving the surrounding students to guess at what the Headmaster would want with Harry.

Daphne and Harry continued to eat, without guessing. The feast eventually ended, and the Houses went their separate ways. Except of course for Harry, who went to the Headmasters office. Following the directions to get to the Headmaster's office from the Main Hall that the prefect had given him along with the quarters password, he started making his way down to see what Dumbledore could have wanted. Soon he arrived at the door and entered and pulled up a seat.

Harry had taken the seat in the chair opposite Dumbledores desk, where the Headmaster sat. Harry wasn't exactly pleased with the special treatment, but he was far more upset that both of his parents, along with his sister, were also in attendance.

"So what's up guys?" Harry started. A moment of silence ensued, and Harry could not help but think, _Well, there were worse ways to break the ice._

"Harry, these are your parents, and your sister." Dumbledore said.

"I know. Lily Potter, nee Evans, James Potter, and Jaina Potter. I remember you all. What do want?" Harry asked, with seemingly no hostility.

"I'm sorry, you know?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry got more comfortable in his seat. _This may take awhile._ "Yes, it comes with the photographic memory. I remember everything." The corner of his lips twitched, and Harry continued, "I even remember the night Voldemort attacked." At the mention of the Dark Lords name, Lily and James flinched, but harry continued, "You never did figure out what stopped him from killing us, did you Headmaster?"

"I must admit, I did not." Dumbledore replied.

"You know what happened that night? Really?" Jaina asked.

"Yep. Would you like to know what happened?" Harry barely managed to keep the smile on his face from becoming psychotic.

"Of course!" James said. "It's been driving me crazy all these years! Thank you son!"

"Well it goes like this: Voldemort apparated in. I'm sure you've all realized that Peter Pettigrew was a cowardly traitor?" When the three adults nodded, Harry continued, "Well that's obviously how he knew where we were. He blasted open the door with a Bombarda Curse, and walked right in. He tried to get Lily and James to just give up, but you didn't. Lily ran upstairs, but Voldemort had already placed an anti-appariton Charm, so you couldn't escape. After defeating James, he walked upstairs. He blew down the door to out bedroom with the same Bombarda Curse, and found Lily crying over us. He threw a Stupefy at her, and then…" Everyone in the room leaned forward. They all knew that what Harry had said so far was true, and that they had told no one outside of this room, save for Padfoot and Moony. And even then, they had to get James completely wasted to get him to spill. Harry grinned, and said, "Well, what happened next probably shouldn't be spoken. So I'll just keep it a secret for a little while longer."

They others glared at Harry, but all assumed he was simply upset with them for abandoning them, and that he would tell once he grew to like them. "Regardless Harry, we are concerned for you."

"Concerned? Are my grades already that terrible?" Harry replied. Jaina giggled a bit, but looked away when her parents gave her **the look.**

"Concerned, because you've been placed in Slytherin." James said.

"Yes, quite so, but we're very happy to simply transfer you to another House. I'm assuming you would like to be placed with your sister in Gryffindor, the House of the Brave and Heroic?" Dumbledore suggested.

"No, I'm fine in Slytherin, the House of the Clever and Ambitious. I quite like the way they strive to be stronger. Kind of reminds me of my orphanage, where the strong pick on the weak."

"Was… Was it really that bad?" Lily asked, speaking up for the first time. "You know I didn't want to leave you, right?" A hint of guilt laced with worry in her tone.

"Yes, it was that bad. For awhile at least. And yes, I know you didn't want to leave me." He turned to Dumbledore. "I also know you were bullied into it by a certain Leader of Light. Thanks for that." Lily and James both flinched at Harrys tone, Jaina fidgeted, and Dumbledore maintained his poker face.

"Well when you do change your mind about Slytherin, my door will always be open. In the meantime, you seem to have been given a gift. It was delivered to me by an owl from Gringotts. I must admit, I am a bit curious as to what it contains, but there is a ward preventing me from examining or opening it. Would you mind opening it here so that I may examine it?" Dumbledore replied, as he brought out a rectangular, brown box two feet long and about six inches wide. When Harry held it, he was surprised at how heavy it felt. While not something he couldn't carry, it was deceivingly heavy.

Harry hummed for a moment, weighing his options. Eventually, he said, "I think I'll open it in my dorm. Do you know why it was sent to me?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "I'm afraid not, my boy. The Goblins are very secretive, and are not at all easy to understand. A goblin once told me he was going to steal my boat, sail it to Germany, crew up with a bunch of scallywags, and raid the coast of Ireland until he died of alcohol poisoning. I laughed at him, and then he hit me over the head with a crowbar, and actually did it! The lesson is, never trust a Goblin."

The other occupants of the room doubted the story, but nodded nonetheless. James cleared his throat, and Harry left.

After getting lost twice, Harry reached the Slytherin Dungeon entrance. He hadn't yet opened his gift from the Goblins, and decided to do so now, before he entered the Common Room.

It was an ordinary box, that opened with a tap of Harrys wand, making him wonder why Dumbledore couldn't open it.

Inside the box, were two wands, two leathery gauntlet-like things, and a small note on the bottom.

Harry first inspected the first wand. It's handle was curved, and was fire red. The base was pitch black, but had the red streaks running through it, like a candy cane. Harry also noticed strange marking along the base, and made a mental note to investigate those later.

The second wand had a golden handle, that was far straighter than the first. The base was pure white, reminiscent of a cloud or a depiction of God's beard. It, like the first wand, had streaks going down the base in the color of the handle, and also had the same, but noticeably different markings on it.

Harry placed the wands back in the box, and examined the gauntlet-like things next. Evidently, they were what made the box so heavy. The were both the same shade of gray, aside from the weird holster on what Harry assumed was the top, they were bland and boring. He put them back into the box when he was sure there was nothing important about them.

He picked up the note, which read:

_Mr. Harry Potter,_

_This is Sharpdagger, speaking for the Goblin Clans. We have significant interest in your future, and wish to be considered as friends. So, we have given you some gifts, to help you on your way to Greatness._

_In this box, which we have warded to protect against anyone but you, or anyone you deem worthy, from opening, you will find two wands, and two wand-holsters._

_The two wand-holsters are for both of your wrists, should you wish to duel-wield, as we suggest you do. They will not stop someone from disarming you, but are very good for quick draws, as well as making sure you never lose, or sit on, your wands, as a surprising, and extremely disappointing, number of witches and wizards do on a daily basis. To equip them, simply put them on, and say, "Sacrificet Mihi". They will bond to you, and will grow with you as you age. They will be invisible to the naked eye, although advanced spells will reveal them. They are made of Dragonhide, so they will weigh your wrists for some time, but a strong arm is a quick arm, which is extremely important in duels. If you place the wands into the holster, then they will become invisible along with the holster. Simply flick your wrist to summon it, and begin using it._

_There are two wands in this box, both crafted by a Master Goblin Crafter, specifically for you. During your last visit to Gringotts, we cast a harmless spell on you, to determine what wand would best suit you. We gathered that information, and gave it to the Crafter. Surprisingly, he made two wands, instead of the one that we asked for, and did not charge us for the second, claiming that no one wand would ever be perfect for you._

_The first wand, which has not been named because Goblins find it as the wand owners right to do so, is eleven and a half inches, and is hard and inflexible, made of Ebony wood, and has a Dragon Heartstring for the core. This is very ancient Ebony, from the oldest tree we Goblins have. This makes it much more powerful, as it has had hundred of years to gather the magic from its surrounding. Ebony wands are wonderful in all forms of Combative Magic, and Transfiguration. Ebony is happiest in the hands of a wizard who has courage, and isn't afraid to be themselves. Hold fast to your beliefs, no matter the external pressure, and it will love you forever. The core is, as previously mentioned, Dragon Heartstring. But that isn't ordinary Heartstring. It was from one of the Legendary Dragons, Alduin, who came close to burning the world to the ground. The carvings are Runes, which you'll learn about in school. We at Gringotts think it would be best if you found out on your own what the exact wording is, but the gist of it is this: the Runes make the wand stronger, and more loyal to you._

_The second wand is also not named as of yet, is twelve inches long, bendy and supple, and is made of Aspen wood, with a Phoenix Feather for its core. Aspen wands are best suited for Charmswork, and Martial Magic. It is happiest in the hands of a strong-minded and determined wizard. There is a book saying that it was a Wand for Revolutionaries. The core is a Phoenix Feather, which is quite rare. They are capable of the greatest range of Magic, although they do not learn quickly, unlike your Dragon Heartstring. They also will often act on their own accord, which many tend to dislike. They are notoriously picky, but once an allegiance is struck, it will be twice as hard to break. The Runes on this one are different. Again, I won't tell you the exact wording, preferring you for the next generation to learn Runes, something that few do, but they essentially make the wand more loyal, and helps it with Elemental Magic specifically._

_We at Gringotts would suggest that you name your wands, at some point in the future. While there is not any evidence that suggests that naming wands does anything at all, some of the most famous wands have been named._

_Our last gift, is the box itself. As we said previously, this box is warded by Goblins, and is impervious to opening in any way, except by you and those you trust. There is also a feature that we have recently discovered, and are very interested in testing it. Should you, or those you have deemed worthy, be placed under the Imperious Curse, and are forced to open this box, it will not open. This is untested, so if it does happen, please inform us. Lastly, as this is an unattractive box, even to out eyes, we made sure there is a Spell to change its appearance. It is also the Spell to defeat Boggarts, called "Riddikulus". Simply imagine the box in whatever form you wish it to be, and it will become that form, in both size, and appearance. We have had it enchanted with an Unnoticable Enlargement Charm._

_Please keep us in good regards, and contact us if you need anything._

_Sincerely,_

_Gringotts Wizarding Bank_

Harry nodded, and equipped the wand-holsters, and the wands with them. He looked at his own, ratty wand, and briefly considered snapping it right then and there. But, he decided to keep it, just in case. He then shrunk the box, while keeping the outward appearance the same, and put it in his pocket.

He walked to the door, and gave the password. He laughed, as the Prefect had claimed that they had kept the same password since there was a password. He claimed that it was a challenge to the other Houses, to come in and see what happens to those who challenge the Slytherin House.

As he walked in, he noticed that the entire First Year group was sitting in the Common Room, while Severus Snape, the Head of the Slytherin House, and the two Seventh Year Prefects stood by the fireplace.

"Good, at last our latest celebrity is here." Snape said.

Harry, having no idea what was going on, replied, "Sorry, was I keeping you guys waiting." After being hissed and yelled at, in various degrees of jest to hatred, he continued, "Sorry I kept you all waiting, but now that I'm here, we can begin…" Harry trailed off, hoping someone would finish his sentence.

"For the Second Sorting." The male Seventh Year Prefect said. "Sit down and shut up. Professor Snape will explain everything."

Snape snorted, and sneered, "I won't be attending this Second Sorting. You handle it Justin." And with that, he left the room, taking extra care to dramatically filp his robes, so that it flowed with him.

"Alright then." Justin said. "As you all know, I'm Justin, the male Seventh year Prefect for the Slytherin House. You are also aware that in the Slytherin House, there are two groups of peerages, headed by a Master. I was deemed a Master by my Seventh Year Prefect, and as the stronger Master of my Year, I was awarded the Seventh Year Prefect position. This Year, the two Seventh Year Masters have consulted with the Head of House, and we have decided who the two Masters will be for your Year. Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, please come forward." The others clapped, while Harry and Draco took their place by Justin.

After the applause stopped, Justin continued, "So here's how you choose the members of your peerage." He paused, but eventually managed to say through his teeth, "Choose your members one at a time, rotating turns. In other words, like a muggle choosing teams for dodgeball."

Some snickered in the background, but a glare from Justin shut them up. "Go on, choose who you will. Draco, you're up first."

Draco strutted forward, looking over the crowd of First Years. The females seemed especially disgusted. Eventually, he said, "I choose Theodore Nott!" People clapped, females sighed in relief, a stringy, weedy, kind of rabbit like guy took his place by Dracos side.

"Your turn Potter." Justin said.

Harry, not quite knowing what to do, just said, "Daphne Greengrass?" Some people sniggered, but they clapped nonetheless as Daphne took her side next to Harry.

It was Dracos turn once again, and he yelled, "I choose Vincent Crabbe." More applause, although Nott flinched.

Nott grabbed Dracos shoulder, and whispered into his ear, "Look, muscle is good and everything, but how about choosing a bitch, not a bloke, next time, yeah?"

Draco looked back at what he was assuming would be the only person in his peerage with more than half a brain cell, and replied, "Relax, I got this all worked out. There's five guys, and six girls. Two of the guys are Masters, so that only leaves three blokes. There's ten people, so if I choose three blokes, then there will certainly be two bitches to grease our brooms, if you catch my drift." Draco couldn't help but grin at the thought.

However, Nott wasn't as pleased. "So we get the leftovers? That's not cool!"

Draco rolled his eyes, and replied with a hint of annoyance in his tone, "Look, I'm stronger than that Potter douche, I've been trained since I was able to hold a wand, and I know countless Spells. I can just challenge him for whatever girl we want. So once again, I say, calm down."

Nott, seemingly pacified for now, relented.

It was Harrys turn, but he didn't know anyone else. He literally only knew the names of Daphne and Draco. He turned to Daphne, who took a moment to enjoy Harry's state of weakness, before leaning over to whisper in his ear. Harry nodded, and said, "I choose Rias Gremory." Rias, a girl with crimson red hair down to her waist, sea blue eyes, and pale skin stood, and took her side by Daphne.

Draco quickly yelled, "I choose Gregory Goyle!" More applause, and Dracos second and last friend took his side beside Draco.

Harry, still not knowing anyones name, looked to Daphne again. This time, she didn't wait to whisper a name in Harrys ear. Harry nodded, and said, "I choose Elsa Arendelle." A girl with natural bleach blonde hair down to just past her shoulders, crystal blue eyes, and snow white skin walked forward, standing next to Rias.

Draco shouted, "I choose Pansy Parkinson!" And with that, a girl with brown hair, and what Harry could only describe as a pug face smirked as she took her side by Draco.

Harry looked over to Daphne once again, more or less used to just asked her what to do, and Daphne leaned over to whisper in his ear. Harry yelled, "I choose Hestia Carrow." The first of the two identacle Carrow twins stepped forward. She had sharp green eyes, and brown hair to her shoulders.

Draco smirked, knowing how to mess with Harry, said, "I choose Flora Carrow!" The second of the Carrow twins turned toward her sister with a look of despair, before walking to Draco, who was smiling pervertedly.

Harry, who was expecting to choose her next, looked towards Daphne, who looked equally surprised. But, she shrugged her shoulders and whispered a name anyway. "I choose Morgana Gorlois!" A girl with curly black hair just past her shoulders and stormy grey eyes stepped forward, next to Harry.

Draco looked at the only person left, made a slightly disgusted face, before muttering, "I choose Millicent Bulstrode…" Millicent, a girl who looked to be more gorilla than human, stepped forward.

Justin cleared his throat, and said, "Alright, let me go over some things about the system we at Slytherin use. You have all heard about how members are exchanged between peerages. It goes like this: Masters may fight other Masters, with each putting up a member of their choosing. So for instance, Harry would choose who he bets, while Draco chooses who he bets if they were to duel. The duel ends when one Master in unable to continue. Obviously, the victor gets the losers member. Now, while only a Master may choose who he bets, they may come to an agreement. For instance, Draco could say that he would only duel Harry if Harry bet Rias, or Harry could say that he would only duel if Draco bet Flora. No Master is ever under any obligation to duel, but it is expected. And the most important rule is this: While it may be known that this system is in place among the other Houses, we don't like to advertise that. So don't get caught. Now, traditionally, there is a duel on the first day of the Year. Draco, Harry, are you up for it?"

Draco nodded, "I'm more than ready."

Harry shrugged, and said, "Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Hey everybody, it's Red again. Yes, I stole a bunch of characters from a bunch of places. I will do so again.<strong>_

_**Cookies to the first person who can guess all three:**_

_**1. Where I stole Jaina from.**_

_**2. Where I stole Rias from.**_

_**3. Where I stole Elsa from. (Although really, this is kind of a given)**_

_**4. Which show I stole Morgana from.**_

_**I stole all four directly, and may or may not give them their abilities in their own fandom. I still don't count this is as a crossover though.**_

_**And holy shitzu, that was a long Chapter, especially for one that was updated so quickly. It was originally supposed to include the duel between Harry and Draco, but oh well. That can wait I suppose.**_

_**Hey guys it's MNI, this is just me letting you know what goes on behind the scenes. Red is working his ass off to bring this story to life and make it the most enjoyable and fun.**_

_**The best way to show your support is to give him a couple reviews every now and then just telling him how he did.**_

_**Help us get to the 1k mark. Have a nice day and don't forget to follow/favorite.**_


	5. Of Duels and Dates

Dirty Harry Chapter Four – Of Duels and Dates

* * *

><p><span><strong><em>Hello all, it's Red again. Just some quick notes I need to give before you begin reading.<em>**

**_We passed the halfway mark to one thousand Favorites! All right guys!_**

**_Reminder: I dislike Bellatrix very much. She's cray-cray. She will not fuck Harry, under any circumstance._**

**_So, I realized that I made Harry OP on accident. So to balance that, EVERYONES OP! Yay!_**

**_Also, expect more pamphlets. They're amazing, and hilarious, and entertaining for you._**

**_IMPORTANT!_**

**_We may have more than four chapter per Year, as I'm getting an annoying number of ideas. Paticularly, I want to set up some things in Harrys First Year, and it may take up awhile, unless the Philosophers Stone is shorter than I think it's going to be. (And it won't be)_**

**_ALSO_**

**_This has the Fics first Lime. Not a full lemon, but underage sex in most States n any case. Deal with it how you will. I'll mark the beginning and the end for those of you who don't want to read it. But let's remember, you all signed up for the ship of a mass harem and a story titled "Dirty Harry". Anyways, on with the story!_**

* * *

><p>Narration<p>

"Speech"

_Thoughts_

Spells

**_AN_**

_Nightmare_

* * *

><p>As Harry walked across the room, which was now a make-shift dueling arena, he went over what few spells he knew.<p>

"Let's see, there's **Stupefy**… And there's **Bombarda**… I'll need to use **Protego** … That should be enough." Confident he would do well, he drew his unnamed Ebony wand, and stood twenty paces away from Draco, who had also drawn his wand, and in some sort of dueling position.

Justin, the male Seventh Year Prefect, stood in the middle. "Alright, so you all know the rules of dueling, or at the very least you should. If you don't, here's the gist of it. Anything goes, just don't kill each other. It ends when someone's unable to continue, or forfeits. Duels don't technically have to be held in the Slytherin Common Room, as this one is, but it's appreciated by the higher ups. Less mess to clean up if you break something. Now, who will you bet?"

Draco shrugged, and said, "What do you say Potter, Carrow for a Carrow? Winner gets twins, loser gets nothing?"

Nott immediately grabbed Draco's shoulder, and whispered, "How about we bet one of those idiots instead of one of our two hot girls?"

Draco rolled his eyes, and replied, "Calm your tits Nott, I won't lose. Your lack of faith is kind of hurtful. But I'm kind, so I'll forgive you just this once. But after I win, and get my twins, I expect better behavior out of you Nott."

Harry quickly shouted, "Sure, I'll take that bet. When do I get to attack him Justin?"

Justin lazily turned to Harry, before replying, "You attack him when I say you attack him. Not before." After Harry put his arms up in surrender, Justin nodded. "Ok, on three, start." Justin stepped away, and said, "And… Three!"

Harry wasn't exactly prepared for that. Draco on the hand, was. he quickly shouted out, "**Stupefy**!"

Harry had just enough time to side-step, but Draco had already sent out another** Stupefy,** trying to catch him off guard. This time however Harry was ready and ducked.

Draco in his overconfidence had overstepped, and took a moment to take a step back to prepare for his next spell, completely missing Harry preparing his own first spell. Watching Draco regain his footing Harry swiftly used **Bombarda** on Draco's feet.

Unfortunately for Harry, Draco had regained some sense of awareness and started to anticipate the oncoming Bombarda and tried to send out a **Protego**.

Luckily enough Draco wasn't quick enough and the spell hit Draco's feet launching debris that bypassed Dracos shield, considering it wasn't magical.

Draco was off-balance after the small debris hit him, and blinded by the cloud of dust that the **Bombarda **created. Harry launched a wild **Stupefy**, hoping to end the duel quickly.

Someone above had apparently taken a liking to Harry, because the spell connected.

Draco was launched from where he stood. Justin walked over to him, and after a moment of examination, stood up and said, "I declare Harry Potter the victor of this duel. To the victor go the spoils, so Flora Carrow, please move over to Harry's peerage."

Nott was furious, trying to give a wake an unconscious Draco, he began to shake him but he wouldn't wake up.

Justin stood on a couch, and shouted, "Hey everybody! So, Draco lost, now girls, go with the Seventh Year female Prefect, her name is Selena. Boys, stay with me. It's time to have the 'birds and bees' talk."

The girls walked off with a tall blonde girl, while Justin stayed with the boys, still standing on the couch. He flicked his wand, and half a dozen pamphlets flew out of no where and landed in everyone's hand, including Draco, who had been woken up by someone at some point.

"Alright, I'm assuming you all know what sex is, and how that works. What you may or may not know, is that Magic is stupid. I could explain further, but instead, read this damn pamphlet, courtesy of the Kanto Region. One last thing, in the other Houses, there's always two rooms for each Year, one for each sex. In ours, we also have two dorms, except we put the two peerages in them. I'm done here, have fun, and make sure to read those pamphlets."

Harry was instructed to take the room on the left, and that Draco's peerage would take the room on the right.

Harry was the first inside, and was a bit underwhelmed at the scenery.

The room was big, but not as big as he would have expected, especially considering that the rest of Hogwarts was so luxurious. The walls were a deep green, with silver stars scattered throughout. There was a fireplace on the wall opposite side from the door, with the largest bed lying beside it. There were four other beds, two each on the walls adjacent to the door. Each bed had a dresser on the side furthest from the door.

Other than that, the room had no real decorations. The wall was empty, and Harry made a note to fill it with something later.

Harry assumed the biggest was for him, because he was the Master, and approached it. He found another pamphlet on top of the bed, which he picked up. Figuring that the girls wouldn't be back for some time, Harry got comfortable and read the first pamphlet, that Justin had given all of the boys.

_Hey all you Goofy Goobers! It's the Kanto Region here, trying to give everyone in the world a better education!_

_Today, we're going to talk about what happens to your special places because of magic!_

_So as you all (should) know, the magical population is extremely small. We were once a proud and populous number, but many religious orders now despise and condemn any form of magic, except their own. Filthy hypocrites!_

_Anyway, despite what Disney movies may tell you, Magic isn't just an idea, it's Life itself, and it DOES have a mind that reacts to the Earthly events._

_After the magical population fell ridiculously low, to a point where we were less than a one/one thousandth of the non-magical population, Magic intervened._

_It decided that we as a population must procreate more. In order to encourage this, Magic made certain parts of us more attractive to represent how strong we are. For women, it was their breasts, and for men, their penis size. The larger they are, the stronger they are._

_We believe this was designed to help the strong to flourish, and encourage the weeks to die out quietly. _

_It is generally accepted that men like bigger breasts, and that women like bigger dicks. So those who are bigger, would be more likely to reproduce more. Not only that, but Witches and Wizards will start sexual puberty much sooner, as well as go through it faster, and end quicker, than Muggles, but will otherwise be the same. Meaning that your sexual organs will grow as big as they're going to get no later than when you're sixteen, unless you greatly increase your magical power after that. And even then, it takes more power to make a change than it would if you were younger._

_We have come up with a basic, one-size (should theoretically) fit all size chart for both men and women. Of course, children will start small, and grow into their full potential. They will grow, along with their magical potential grows and is honed with them._

_Again, this should go without saying, but this doesn't apply to muggles. They have genes, we have magic!_

_Here we go, from bottom to top!_

_Men, and their penis size:_

_Less than four inches – Not fit to reproduce. So weak, he might be a squib! But seriously. This is extremely rare, but yeah. Essentially, ladies, don't date this guy._

_Four inches – Extremely weak. This guy might be able to fight off a Flobberworm. If he's lucky._

_Five inches – Below average. Don't expect him to do much of anything, but don't judge him. He's probably got a great personality!_

_Six inches – Average. He probably could do some things. But I wouldn't get in any fights if I were you Mr. 6._

_Seven inches – Above average. He might make a decent duelist, or invent a new spell. Or something._

_Eight inches – Very strong. Can become a very skilled duelist, and can easily perform almost any type of magic._

_Nine inches – _Nearly God-like. This guy is massively powerful. Some people, when needing to cross a mountain, hike over it. This mother fucker blows it to kingdom come.__

_Ten Inches or Greater – _You all remember Zeus? And Hades? And all of those other Greek/Roman Gods? Yeah. We're pretty sure this is them.__

_Women, and their breast size._

_A cup – The smallest of the small, you're only an A cup if you're a kid, or if you're not fit to reproduce._

_B cup – Weak. One of the reasons that students are advised not to have intercourse until their Second Year at school is because girls with boobs this size may not be able to properly care for their children._

_C cup – Average. Nice and perky, and if you're a stereotype Slytherin, she probably can't put up much of a fight!_

_D cup – Strong. Very nice tits from a males perspective._

_DD cup – Extremely strong. Don't mess with this girl, you slimy stereotype Slytherin._

_F cup – Nearly God-like. If she says no, she MEANS no._

_G cup – God-like. You all remember Aphrodite, right? Greek Goddess of love? Ring any bells? Well, she didn't really need to use her magic, she just kind of… Let her tits talk for her._

Harry considered the pamphlet, before putting it aside. He picked up the other one, and the girls walked in. They all had on their sleepwear, which were just nightgowns in varying colors. They also looked rather confused, and Daphne said to Harry, "Who gets what bed?"

Harry looked up, and realized that in fact, there were five beds including his, and six girls. He shrugged, and said, "Take what you want. I'm reading this."

Rias took the bed on Harry's immediate left, while Elsa took the one next to her. The Carrow twins decided to share a bed, and took the one on Harry's immediate right, with Morgana taking the one next the theirs. Daphne just shrugged and hopped on Harry's bed.

Harry looked at her. "Whatcha doing?"

Daphne looked at Harry. "Taking what I want."

Harry snorted, and Daphne got under the covers. Harry finally got a chance to read the second pamphlet.

_Hello Hogwarts students. This is the official Hogwarts Rooming pamphlet, to educate you on the room you will be living in for the next seven years of your life._

_The room will always know exactly how many beds are required. For instance, if three people intend to share a room, but two of them are married to each other, the room would only make two beds, one for the couple, and one for the loner._

_Should more people wish to live in the room, a bed will appear for them once no one is there to look._

_House Elves will clean the room every evening and morning, but only when no one that's awake/conscious is in the room. This means that they will wait for you to go to sleep before cleaning, and wait for you to go to class._

_In most rooms, there will be an empty wall for you to decorate with achievments, such as trophies. Hogwarts is not required to give you these trophies, and if anyone wants to make them, they must do so themselves._

_Good luck on surviving Britain's most famous Wizarding School._

Harry shrugged, and put it away. He made a mental note to make his old wand some sort of memento for the Trophy Wall, as he deemed it, and also made a note to name his wands if he had extra time. And with that, he went to sleep.

* * *

><p><span><em>"<em>_Lily, he's here! Take the kids!"_

_"Hahahahaha!"_

**_"Avada Kedavra!"_**

Harry sat up, gasping for breathe. He began panting, and eventually fell onto his back.

Daphne, who had apparently woken up, crawled over to him. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Harry mouth twitched into a smile, because she didn't realize how close it was to the truth. He had seen someone who had died. Kind of. "I'm fine. I just had another nightmare. Eidetic Memory comes at a price."

Daphne grinned. "You have perfect recall? I didn't know that."

"Yeah. It helps here and there."

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?"

"Yes. More than I should. But I can't. It's kind of a secret, and I think Dumbledore put a listening charm somewhere in the room."

"Oh. Okay." Daphne said. She curled up onto Harry, who was lying on his back. She draped her left arm over his chest, and her left leg over his legs, before snuggling into the crevasse of his neck. "Before I forget, drink this potion." She then held out a small vial of a golden liquid for Harry to take.

"What's it do?"

Daphne paused. _How should I go about telling him that it was given to me by Selena, who claims it will make his cum taste like honey? Oh. Duh. _"It makes girls like you more."

Harry hummed. "That's cool." He took it from her, popped the flask, and drank it whole. "Mhm. Tastes like honey." A moment passed, before Harry opened one eyelid. "Wait, was that a test? To see if I only like you or something?"

Daphne chuckled. "No. I already guessed you'd have a rather large harem, whether or not I wanted you to. As long as I'm in it, I'm fine."

"Oh. That's nice." Harry found he couldn't sleep well, so he asked, "Did you get the same talk the guys did?"

Daphne sighed, "Probably not the same one, but one very similar. Our tits grow big, and they grow fast. The bigger our tits, the stronger we are. Guys dicks will show how strong they are. We should always obey our Masters. Don't fuck someone unless our Master says we can. Stuff like that."

Harry nodded. "So what size tits do you think you'll have?"

Daphne laughed. "That's not something you ask just any girl Harry!"

Harry smiled. "I'm not asking any girl, I'm asking you."

"Oh? Is that an order my Master?" Daphne giggled. Her leg was rubbing him now, in an attempt to arouse him.

"Yes, it is an order. Tell me what cup size you are now, and what size you think you'll end up being."

"Well, right now, my breasts have barely started growing. Not even a full A cup yet. But I expect to be a DD when I'm fully grown."

Harry grinned, just thinking of boobs.

Daphne's giggled again, and nipped his ear. "And I'm so nice, I'll let you play with them whenever you want!" Harry groaned, and rolled his head back. "So I have to ask, how big is your dick? Are you a full foot yet?"

Harry chuckled. "I don't actually know. It's not something that ever crossed my mind before attending Hogwarts. I never really said to myself, 'Hey. There's a ruler. Why don't you measure your dick length with it?' Until now. Why don't you find out for yourself?"

Daphne blushed, but it was hidden by the darkness of the room. She didn't know what time it was, but the fireplace only had embers in it, and the windows both showed a full moon. "I can't have sex yet. My parents put a... Um... Let's just say it's a **really nasty spell** down there, to discourage anyone from fucking me, since they knew I'd be in Slytherin, but they also wanted me to be a virgin for as long as possible. They said they'd remove it once I either got engaged to someone of their choosing, or I found someone who's the love of my life, and they approved of him. Or her. My mother was quite insistent that being lesbian was okay. My father, as expected, shut up. I think he wants an heir to the Greengrass name. Which a lesbian can't quite give, unless she gets magic or science involved."

"What's wrong with magic and science?" Harry asked.

"I don't know actually. They, for some ridiculous reason, want an heir born of plain and simple sex, not science nor magic. And it's not like I'm the only Greengrass of my generation, I have a little sister."

This certainly peaked Harrys interest. "I didn't know you had a sister."

Daphne once again, giggled at Harry. "I do. She probably won't be as strong, or smart as I will, but she's cute. I think you'd like her."

"So you be fine if I added your sister to my harem?" Harry asked, the voice in his head telling him that this entire conversation was a trap.

"I'd encourage it. With both of the only Greengrass girls in your hands, the fortune would be yours for the taking. And I want you to do that. I don't know why, but... There's something about you Harry... I can't quite explain it..."

"What is it? My good looks? My charm? My power?"

"Your arrogance!" Daphne exclaimed. Harry facepalmed, figuring he walked into it, while Daphne just silently laughed, hoping not to wake the others. "But seriously. You just have some trait... And I just know that you're going to change the world, and I want to be part of that." She paused, and looked into the fireplace, and her complexion became much more serious. "The world as we know it is rotten. It needs to be burned down, so that a new, better world may emerge from its ashes. And you're going to need all of the help you can get. If war is just politics speaking, and politics is just money, then ruling the world should just be a matter of having enough money to conquer it, and hold it down while you fuck it. And many Ancient and Noble Houses currently have no male heirs, only unwed female heirs. Who conveniently, almost always go to Hogwarts."

"So your plan for me is to fuck my way into world domination? Not the first thing I would've come up with, but I'm not exactly opposed to it either."

They shared another laugh, before Daphne relied, "Why not? Hell hath no fury like a women? And with an army of women by your side, who could stop you? Not Moldy Voldy, and certainly not Fumbledore! In the meantime though, why don't you start romancing some of your peerage members?"

Harry nodded in agreement. "I was planning on doing that. I, as a twin, do like the idea of fucking the Carrow twins. And Elsa and Rias are certainly hot enough. But Morgana, while very attractive, does seem a bit scary..."

Danone snorted. "Scared of Morgana? Really? Well, I guess she is a bit emo. But I'd be more scared of Elsa or Rias if I were you."

"Why? They look harmless."

"I'm almost positive they'll both be very powerful. Especially Elsa, she's a princess from some small magical European kingdom. Strong enough to stay unconquered, but not strong enough to conquer much of anything. She would probably have access to many unique spells to her homeland. And Rias is pretty much the same. She's also an heir to a throne, although I can't remember where..."

"What about the Carrow twins? Will they be strong? Or just two hot twins to fuck?"

Daphne giggled in response. "Probably closer to the latter. The Carrow House isn't well known. You probably don't know this, growing up in an orphage, but all Ancient and Noble Houses have many unique spells that they only teach to people who've married in, or are of their blood. The Carrow House is so poor though, I doubt they'll have more than a couple! Their finances are an advantage though. If you're feeling evil, you can try to buy them from their father."

"How would I do that? And why would it be useful?"

"Let me explain! Stop interrupting! Anyway, you can buy them fairly easily. In Wizarding society in Britain, we haven't changed much since the Middle Ages, if you couldn't tell by the fact that you're being taught inside of a castle. A male heir is the Head of every family, and he's in charge of everyone else. In your case, I believe it's your father. In mine, it's my grandfather, although he's very ill, so my father runs almost everything for him. He just doesn't want to admit that his own dad is close to kicking the bucket, and won't take the title. In the case of the Carrows, the twins' father is in charge. He's just about broke if I recall correctly. Anyway, all you have to do is offer him a sum of gold for the marriage contracts for his daughters, and he'll probably sell out."

"That explains how to get them, but what then?"

"I said to stop interrupting! Anyway, once you've bought them, you can fuck them senseless. After that, there's plenty of magical rituals that require twins. Of course, some require virgin twins, and most require their deaths, so there's that. Or, you could just prostitute them. Magical twins are hard to come by, and many men would pay a high price to spend a night with a pair of young girls."

"Wait. I don't have any money. How am I supposed to buy them?"

Daphne paused. "Didn't you inherit the Potter fortune?"

Harry wrinkled his nose. "No. My father disowned me, so that my sister would get all of the gold. My parents were kind enough to pay for my education, but other than that, I'm getting almost nothing. Five thousand Galleons replenishes every year, and I already spent most of that on school stuff."

Daphne hummed. "That sucks. I'm sorry to hear about that Harry. I'll figure something out, until you marry into money."

Harry smiled. "You're pretty confident of my charisma, aren't you?"

She chuckled, before relying, "You shouldn't have too much difficulty here. I assume you got the Kanto Regions chart about how the mans power is reflected in his dick size? Remember how it said those big with bigger sized dicks would be more appealing to women?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah. What about it?"

"Well, I read it once, when my aunt was a bit tipsy. She said that in all her years, with all of the men slept slept with, only a handful were more than six inches. And believe me, she's slept with a lot of men. That's why she isn't getting an inheritance. Which is why she sleeps around." Daphne paused, and wrinkled her eyebrows. "Wait..."

Before Daphne could confuse herself, Harry asked, "Would many girls be okay with me marrying a lot of women?"

Daphne shook her head, getting back into reality, and answered, "Yes, a surprising amount. It's not uncommon for a man to have a couple of wives, or at least a wife and several mistresses. Although to be fair, only the super rich have more than four of five wives. They usually just can't keep up with their womanly needs. But to be fair, there are some, like your father, who only have one official wife. My mother thinks he has a couple mistresses hidden somewhere, but she doesn't know where. I think she just likes to gossip personally. But the point is, there are few men who are even average strength. Why the Kanto Region decided six was average is beyond me, but women will be drawn to you if your significantly stronger than those around you."

"I still don't know how big I am."

Daphne grinned. "Let's see then!" She kissed Harry on the lips, before going under the covers.

Harry felt his boxers go down to his ankles, and he ripped the covers off of the bed.

**LIME BEGINS HERE EVERYBODY!**

Harry hissed when Daphne wrapped her hand around his manhood. Already being aroused from having Daphne's lithe form on top of him during their conversation, his cock was now standing at full attention. Daphne stared at it hungrily until she finally got her hand adjusted.

As she started stroking it slowly, she grinned up at Harry, who was still lying on his back.

He gazed into her deep violet eyes, and saw a glint of mischievousness. She crawled between his legs, stood on her knees, and took her sleeping gown off, revealing her small but growing breasts. "They're not much, but you'll have to make do for now."

Harry smiled, and relied, "They're beautiful, just like you."

Daphne smiled back and blushed. Deciding he deserved a reward for his compliment, she lowered her head to his throbbing dick. She eyed it hungrily, before licking it from his balls to his head. She kissed the head and took it into her mouth, slowly pushing up and down while licking it, hoping to not choke.

Harry rolled his head back, and groaned. His hands dug into the sheets, I order to resist grabbing Daphne's head and just skull fucking her. In time however, he hoped she would be comfortable enough for him to do just that.

One of Daphne's hands was still stroking him, while the other played with his balls. She took the head out of her mouth, and looked at Harry. "Do you like that? Do you want more?"

"Fuck yes Daphne! I love this!"

Daphne giggled and took the head into her mouth hoping to keep her head on longer and started to push her head up and down making a squelching noise.

"Oh Gods, I'm going to cum Daphne!"

Daphne, with this new information, decided to go deeper. Throwing caution to the wind, she pushed Harry's dick a little further into her mouth each time, before it went all the way in. When it did, she looked up at him, blinked twice, and hummed.

The added vibrations to the amazing sensations of having his first blowjob sent Harry over the edge, and he sent his thick cum straight into Daphne's throat, which she eagerly accepted.

Not expecting the full impact on the back of her throat, she started to let some of the cum dribble out of her mouth losing a little of it while it oozed down his dick. After gulping it down she slid her lips down his dick one more time and gave it one last lick getting all of the left over cum. Relishing in the taste she could only imagine what Harry would be like when it wasn't his first time.

Soon Daphne pulled Harry's boxers up, and put on her own nightgown, before crawling over to Harry, who had gathered the sheets to warm them.

**LIME ENDS HERE EVERYBODY!**

"Was that good Harry?" Daphne asked vulnerably, not really confident in her abilities just yet.

"It was amazing Daph, right now I just need to know if you're going to be doing that every night." Harry asked.

Daphne blushed and started to giggle. "Every night, and every morning if you're up for it. At least, for as long as you'll have me. The more girls you get, the less you'll want to fuck me. Which makes me sad, but I'm fine with it, as long as you still love me." Before Harry could say something to lighten the mood, Daphne said, "Anyway, your dick looked just under five inches to me. Which is good, because you don't just start with whatever your full potential is. I'm almost certain you'll be at least eight inches, if you're not a full ten. Anyway, the more you use magic, and the more you have sex, the bigger it should grow."

"Wait..." Harry said, between breathes. "Are you telling me having sex will make my magic grow?"

"Well, not exactly. See, sex is a great exercise. There are lots of positions, that use lots of muscles. And the more physically fit you are, the more magic you'll be able to contain. So it isn't sex that directly gives you more magic, but it helps."

With those parting words, Harry smiled, and fell asleep.

Daphne frowned a bit, hoping for a Round Two, but decided that he would be better with time. If she could actually have sex would also inspire him to find the energy, but that was another point altogether. She closed her eyes, and snuggled with her beloved, before joining him in sleep.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>It's Red. I'm sorry I suck at fighting scenes, but MNI helped a bunch, which doubled its awesomeness. (Or halved its suckiness if you're a pessimist)<strong>_

_**How was the lime? I wrote it pretty late at night, and I'm not sure it was good. I've only ever written a single lemon before, so I'm trying to see what works here and what doesn't before attempting one in this Fic. My first attempt resulted in me abandoning the Fics entirely. Although that probably won't happen here. Way to many good lemons to leave it unfinished.**_

_***Facepalms***_

_**Alright, give most of the credit for the lime to MNI, because he made it about a hundred times better than my crappy one. I feel like the guy who built the foundation for the Empire State Building, while I'm standing next to the architect. I sent him it as a DocX, and when he sent it back, I'm just sitting here, like... '1212, you're the best.' So give him a round of applause.**_

_**SUPER UBER DUPER IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE!**_

_**You guys barely even responded to my question last chapter. So I'll ask again,**_

_**What should one of Harrys Familiars be? I'm open to suggestions, and I'm already considering a Succumbus, Dragon, Vampire, Fairy, Nundo, Phoenix, Veela, Elf, and a plethora of other things, and I just can't decide. I only need one of them, and I can't even right now. Evil version of the above things are also being considered. Please respond.**_

_**Hey guys, it's MNI. Thanks for all the support and favorites. I know Red appreciates it just as much as I do. Like he said above, don't forget to add what familiar you guys want. Don't be afraid to tell us, especially if it's something unique. We are also willing to take existing characters as familiars if they have a unique aspect (Tonks, Fleur, Gabrielle,etc.). Anyways, I hope everyone has a good holiday and we hope to get the next chapter up soon.**_

_**-MNI**_

_**It's Red again. Like he said, give us your thoughts on the Familiar thing, and MNI a round of applause for the lime. I will try to update by this weekend, but who knows? It might be five weeks.**_

_**REVIEW NOW.**_


	6. First Day of Class, Part One

Dirty Harry Chapter Five - First Day of Class, Part One

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><p><span><em><strong>Hey. I'm in Mexico. My family lied to me when they said that there would be free wifi.<strong>_

_**So I wrote this.**_

_**Also, I updated the size chart pamphlet thing from last chapter, so look that over if you have time. It was a small change, but I changed it nonetheless.**_

_**I feel like this was a 'meh' Chapter. Oh well.**_

_**WARNING: This chapter starts with a minor lime.**_

_**MNI, a few notes.**_

_**This is a big motherfucker. Don't feel at all rushed, because I'm going to need to figure out where to cut it in half anyway.**_

_**Feel free to mess around with this first scene. I hate it, but I can't seem to make a better version.**_

_**Next, what was the name of the ghost teacher who taught History?**_

_**While we're on that subject, what was the official name of the History class?**_

_**I didn't have internet when writing this, so if something seems wrong, it might just because I wasn't smart enough to download my previous chapters onto this, and had to guess.**_

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><p>Narration<p>

"Speech"

_Thoughts/Letters_

**Spells**

_**Authors Note**_

**SINGING**

* * *

><p>Harry woke up to a rather pleasant sensation; Daphne sucking his dick, just as promised.<p>

_**THIS IS A LIME!**_

When she sensed he was awake, she took her mouth off his member, started stroking it, and said, "Good morning M_aster_."

Harry groaned, and mumbled, "Good morning to you too, but don't stop on my account. Merlin, that feels good!"

Daphne resumed her work, bobbing up and down. Harry put his hand on her head, and grabbed her hair, wanting to stake a bit more control. He made her go just a bit faster, but it pleased it far more.

He felt her tongue play with his manhood in her mouth. His breathing became erratic, and when he felt a familiar pressure building in him, he hissed, "I'm about to cum!"

Daphne, with the pride of a skilled woman, sped up again, and when she felt it twitch, she went as far down as she could manage without gagging, and stayed there. Harry came a moment later, and it splattered against her throat. Daphne held a bit more if his cum in this time, but a bit still spilled out of the corner of her mouth, which was a very erotic sight for Harry.

_**LIME ENDS HERE!**_

When she was done gasping for air, she asked, "Now are you ready for class?" She noticed Harrys manhood was still very erect, but ignored it, knowing they had to get ready soon. Internally though, she smiled, knowing her beloved would always be have the stamina to go for a Round Two, and perhaps even a Round Three when he was older, and much more experienced.

Harry groaned, and not in the good way. "We actually have class in the morning? I thought that was optional!" He was upset that he didn't last as log as he would've liked, but waved it off, figuring that he would be better as he matured.

Daphne giggled in response, before answering, "No, it's quite mandatory. We only have three classes today. Potions with Snape and Gryffindor, History of Magic with Ravenclaws, and Charms with Flitwick and Hufflepuff. The system is supposed to make better House-relations, but I don't see the point if we're being kept in separate Houses. Anyway, after that, we have the entire day off, to do whatever we want."

Harry sighed, before getting up. He pulled up his boxers, and began looking for his robes, sleeping only in underwear primarily. "Alright, how much time do we have before class starts?"

"Don't you have your schedule?" Daphne asked, getting out of bed.

"Uh, I kinda trashed it. I remember everything on it, but mornings are just so... Ug..."

Daphne smiled, and replied, "I get that at least. It's a little past seven, and breakfast ends at eight. Class starts at nine, so if you want to get something to eat, we should go now."

"No time for another quick blowjob?" Harry asked, with the hope of a hormonal boy.

Daphne giggled, and responded, "I'm afraid not love. I'll give you another tonight though."

Harry sighed, and found his robes. "Wait, how'd all of our clothes get here?"

"The House Elves. They brought our clothes up here while we slept." Daphne answered, with a roll of her violet eyes.

"Oh." Harry said. "I'm assuming the rest of the girls went to go to breakfast?"

Daphne nodded, and replied, "Yeah. We can meet up with them at the table, I doubt they'll want to hang out with Dracos peerage, so we should have them to ourselves."

"That reminds me, what do you know about that Pansy Parkinson that Draco has on his peerage? Should I try to win her over?" Harry asked.

"I wouldn't. I've met her a couple times before, and she's a real bitch. Plus, her family's almost certainly going to make a marriage contract between her and Draco at some point, so it doesn't matter if you take her, she'll screw Draco in the end, and I dearly hope that you don't want a girl that Draco has fucked, or will fuck."

"Fair enough. Any ideas on who else I should add to my harem, that goes to Hogwarts?"

"Take a look at Susan Bones, she's in Hufflepuff. I don't know how powerful she'll be, but her family's one of the richest in Britain, and she's the only Heir for this generation. And since you're broke, you need all the charity you can get."

"Ug, don't remind me." Something clicked in Harrys head, and he said, "Wait, I did tell you about my other two accounts, right?"

"What other accounts?" Daphne asked.

"Well, I'm an heir to two other Ancient and Noble Families, but I'm not old enough to take the full responsibility. So I just have two other accounts that also have five thousand galleons that renew every year. Grand total of fifteen thousand a year, although I've spent a lot of it already."

"Which two Families?"

Harry paused. _Maybe I should keep some things secret._ "I'd rather not say. I probably I mentioned it before, but I think that Dumbledore put some sort of listening charm in here."

Daphne scowled, but accepted it. "Fine. I'm going to take a shower, I'll see you at breakfast?"

"Sure. You know, I could always return the favor from this morning."

Daphne smiled at the offer, but said, "As much as I'd like that, the **Nasty Spell** that I mentioned my parents put on me means I can't receive oral, only give it. But I'll remember the offer!" She winked, took off her clothes, and walked to the showers, which were only a door away.

Harry took a moment to appreciate her naked body, before saying, "Anything you want me to save for you at breakfast?"

Daphne giggled, and replied, "No need, I just has my breakfast, remember?"

* * *

><p>Harry moved through the halls of Hogwarts, before arriving at the Great Hall. As he walked in, he made a note to check to see if his sister or parents was there.<p>

_Hm... The Old Man isn't here, but my mom and Jaina are. Although neither look particularly happy..._ He thought, as he noticed the young girl at the Gryffindor table, glaring at her soup, while his mother had her head in her hand, and was staring into the distance.

He walked off to the left, and found his peerage, who were sitting together. Rias and Elsa sat on the side closest to Ravenclaws, while the Carrow twins sat with Morgana on the opposite side.

Harry took a seat by Elsa, and looked around the table. "Damn, they got good food here. Nothing like where I used to live."

Rias raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Oh yeah, where did you live Harry? I didn't even know that there was a male Potter."

Harrys eye twitched, and he answered, "It's neither important, nor something I like to talk about. Maybe I'll tell you someday, but not today."

Rias nodded, and made a mental note to herself to ask her brother to look up on her new Master.

Flora spoke up next, right as Harry finished making his 'Breakfast for Champions' which consisted of bacon, pancakes, eggs, and soda. She had a small blush on her cheeks, but she still proudly declared, "Harry, I wanted to thank you for saving me from Draco. I don't know what he would've done to my sister and I, but I know he can't now. I don't know if you'll try the same thing, but I don't think you will."

_There's that 'undefinable trait' again._ Harry thought, as he took a bite of bacon. He chewed, swallowed, and replied, "No problem Flora. I'm always happy to help a beautiful girl." He added a charming smile to the last part, to really sell it.

Evidently, Flora and Hestia bought it, as they both blushed heavily and looked to their plates. Unfortunately, Rias, Morgana, and Elsa all rolled their eyes, clearly seeing through Harrys flirting, and all made a mental note to watch out for it.

"So, who's excited for Potions?" Harry asked, trying to get the ball rolling.

This time, it was Elsa who spoke up. "I am. I don't know if Snape will actually teach us anything first Year, but I hope to learn something."

Rias nodded, and said, "Me too. I know the basics of the other classes we're taking, except Herbology and Flying, which both kind of bore me."

"Hey Harry, where's Daphne?" Morgana asked.

"Oh, she's still getting ready. She told me to go ahead and save her a seat."

A comfortable silence ensued, before Rias, Elsa, and Morgana shared a look, and all nodded to each other.

"Hey Hestia, Flora, let's go double check we have everything we need for Potions, ok?" Morgana said, before getting up.

"Sure!" Hestia said, with a bright smile on her face. The twins and Morgana left, leaving only Harry, Rias, and Elsa.

"So Harry, we want to have a little talk with you." Elsa started.

Harry raised an eyebrow, but shrugged, and said, "What a wonderful idea. Please continue."

"Are you planning on being the stereotype Slytherin?" Rias bluntly asked.

Harry choked on his food, but manages to get it all down a moment later. "I'm sorry?"

Rias rolled her eyes, before asking again, "Do you intend to force us to have sex with you simply because you call yourself a Master?"

Harry carefully considered his words, before answering, "Ah, no, I don't think I'll turn myself into a pseudo rapist."

Elsa glared at him, and said, "Then why did you force Daphne to share a bed with you? And to give you a blowjob last night?"

Harry shrugged. "I didn't force her to do either of those things. I appreciate them, yes, and I asked for the blowjob, but she willingly gave them to me. Look, I won't force you into anything, but of course, I would never say no if you wanted to do anything like that."

Rias and Elsa shared another look, before coming to the mutual conclusion of _'That's better than the alternative'_ and dropped the subject.

Daphne arrived at that moment, and sat across from Harry. "Hey everybody!"

They all replied the greeting, and another silence was born. A few minutes later, a brown owl flew in front of Harry, and landed.

"Looks like it's for you Harry." Rias said. "Anyway, Elsa and I have to be going. See you at Potions."

They left, and Harry pulled the letter off of the Owls leg.

"What's it say Harry?" Daphne asked.

"Let's see..." Harry muttered, and read it to himself.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are aware that you are the Heir to now only one, but two Ancient and Noble families, and that due to your upbringing, you may not be fully aware of all of the Wizarding customs in use today._

_We would like to ask if you could make an appointment with us this weekend to see how much you need to be taught, and come up with potential solutions._

_Please write your response on the back of this letter, and put it back onto this Owl._

_Sincerely,_

_Gringotts Bank_

Harry shrugged, and gave it to Daphne. She read it over, before saying, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't see why I can't go this weekend. Think you can make it as well?"

Daphne nodded. "Sure. But how are we going to leave Hogwarts?"

That hadn't exactly crossed Harrys mind. He shrugged, and replied. "I'll figure something out. I'll put it in the letter too, to see if the Goblins know something I don't." With that, he took the letter back from Daphnne, scribbled something down, and gave it back to the owl, which promptly flew off. "Ready for Potions?"

"As I'll ever be. But before we go, I should warn you, Snape might have a _teensy tiny_ bias against you."

Harry frowned. "Why? I only met him yesterday!"

"To him, it doesn't matter. You're a Potter, which is enough."

"He hates Potters? What for?"

"Well, rumor has it that he fell in love with your mother, who was his childhood friend. Then, your dad kinda swooped in and stole her heart. Everyone else sees it as lovely story, but he thinks your father stole her away from him. But to be fair, he'll probably despise you and your sister equally." She paused, frowned, and continued, "No, wait, I lied. He'll hate your sister a little worse. She's a Gryffindor, and he hates them too. Although how you can hate a fourth of the students and still be allowed, or even want, to teach is beyond me."

Harry shrugged, and said, "Oh well. Let's get this over with. At least I studied."

As they were walking out of the Great Hall, Harry saw someone waiting for him. _Well now's as good a time as any I suppose._ Harry thought, before greeting, "Good morning dearest sister. How are you today?"

Jaina briefly glared at Daphne, then said, "Who's she?"

Daphne ignored the slight insult from not being asked to introduce herself, and said, "I'm Daphne Greengrass. We've met before Jaina." She managed to keep a polite smile on her face, but Harry guessed that she wasn't entirely happy with the situation.

Jaina ignored her, and said to Harry, "We need to talk. Alone."

Harry sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, before he turned to Daphne, saying, "Go on without me. Something tells me Snape will be fashionably late."

Daphne pouted, but did as he said without a word.

Jaina smiled at the small victory, before saying, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me you're my twin brother?"

Instead of answering immediately, Harry replied, "I'm curious. Did you even know you had a brother? If you did, you should've been able to figure out that I was him. Same age, similar hair and eyes, stuff like that."

A tint a red touched Jainas cheeks, as she responded, "No, I didn't. And if you weren't such a twat, I'd say it was a pleasant surprise!"

Harry smiled, and put his hands over his heart. "Oh, ouch. That hurts. Anyway, to answer your initial question, I didn't tell you, because I liked the idea of surprises. Your face was a very nice surprise by the way."

Jaina now had a full on blush from embarrassment, as she replied, "Screw you!" And with that, she ran off.

* * *

><p>Several minutes later, Harry arrived at Potions class.<p>

As he expected, Snape was several minutes late. Not that his students cared, it gave them more time find a seat next to a friend. The tables only allowed two to a table, and Daphne had saved Harry a seat, so he sat next to her.

She grinned when he sat down, and asked, "Tell me to drop it if this is a sore spot, but do you plan on fucking your sister?"

Harry smiled at the bluntness, before replying, "I don't know. I do like the idea of that taboo, fucking my own twin. I know I'll have the Carrow twins do it for me often."

At this, Daphne purred. "Yeah, I think you already have them wrapped around your fingers. You're a 'brave, courageous hero, for saving them from being from being forced to serve Draco'! At least, that's what Hestia told me earlier. I doubt they'll even care if you buy both of them, they might think you're saving them from some other mysterious creep!"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Did you purr?"

Daphne blushed, and looked away. "Maybe a bit. My mom was a bit bisexual, and there's a rumor that Hogwarts make girls have thoughts of women. I can't remember why, but I'm sure you could find it in the library."

Harry shrugged, and replied. "That's fine with me. I'd love to take you and another girl at the same time."

Daphne winked, and seductively whispered, _"So would I."_

Just as Harry and Daphne were having their little moment, Draco walked over.

"Hello filthy half-blood. How's your day?" Draco asked.

Harry, who was looking at Daphne, sighed, and turned around. "Hello inbred cunt. My day's going fantastic. Yours?"

"It's alright. It'll be better though, once I defeat you in a duel!" Draco said. He pointed a finger at Harrys nose, and proclaimed, "Harry Potter, I challenge you to a duel in the Slytherin Common Room after class!"

Daphne snorted while Harry only had a pitiful smile on his face. "I'm afraid I'll have to decline Draco."

Draco flinched. _I didn't expect that. Nott and I were sure that if I insulted him, then challenged him, he would be sure to accept! Let's try something else._ "Why? To scared to face me Potter?"

Harry shook his head. "No, it's because I like all of my girls, and don't want to risk losing any of them."

He heard who he assumed was Flora whisper, "Oh Harry, you're so noble..."

Harry continued, in a much quieter voice, so that no one but Daphne and Draco could hear him, "Plus, I don't really want anyone on your peerage. If you get a hot girl, let me know, that would change things. But as it is, I don't want any of your men, your gorilla, or Pansy."

Draco, completely stunned, was only able to reply, "My father will hear of this!"

Daphne tilted her head. "Why would that matter? No one can force Harry to duel, it's one of the rules!"

Draco whipped his head to Daphne, and said, "Shut up you blood-traitor whore! No one asked you!"

Harry frowned, "Hey man, let's keep things civil. No need to insult Daphne."

Draco glared at Harry, before stomping away.

"Thank you Harry. But I could've handled that myself." Daphne said, while holding her head high.

"Yes, of course you could've, but then what would I be here for? Looking pretty?" Harry sarcastically asked.

Daphne giggled, and there was a loud bang in the back of the room. Harry looked back, and saw that Snape had finally made his entrance. He practically flew into the room, hair greased back, nose sticking further than Pinocchios.

He eventually reached his desk, and stared at the students for a long minute, his eyes lingering on Harrys peerage just a moment longer than Harry liked. He said, "Unlike many of the seating arrangements at this school, mine are not by choice. It is alphabetical."

The students groaned, and were eventually placed in alphabetical order, just like books. As it turned out, Harry was seated next to his sister. Perks of having the same last name. "Hello again Jaina."

She tried to maintain a straight face. "Hello Harry. Ready for Potions?"

Harry smiled. "Oh yes indeed." T_his is a wonderful plan. It'll teach Draco a lesson, make Daphne happy, and get me just a touch of influence with my sister. And I can't imagine a way it could go wrong._

"Hello class." Snape sneered. "This is not like the other classes you will take at this school. There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to enjoy the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. There is only ingredients, stirring, and patience." He managed to draw out every syllable, as if he were insulting the students he was talking to. "I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper in death. Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confidant enough to not... Pay... Attention..." He fixed his gaze on a Gryffindor that Harry recognized from Jainas train compartment. "Are you paying attention Ms. Granger?" Snape internally smiled, identifying her as a misplaced Ravenclaw, and decided to take her down a notch, through public humiliation. And the poor girl knew it too.

Harry smiled. _Well, that just adds one more girl that will be thankful to me._ He drew his Aspen wand, as he searched for Draco. When he found his target, he smiled, and muttered, "**Cantis**."

Suddenly, and without provocation, Draco stood up, and sang. Harry didn't know the exact song, but it was some sort of opera, as Draco wasn't speaking any words, just high pitched noises.

"Mister Malfoy! Cease singing!" Snape snarled. The class was mildly laughing, both at Snape and at Draco.

Draco only glanced at Snape with an absolutely petrified look, before singing even louder.

"Mister Malfoy, if you do not stop this instant, I will take points away from the Slytherin House!"

A tear ran down Dracos cheek, as he continued to sing at the top of his voice. The class was now falling out of their seats with laughter at the contrasting emotions of Snapes fury, Dracos despair, and Dracos ridiculous voice.

"That's it Mister Malfoy! Five points from Slytherin!"

Draco showed no signs of stopping.

"If you don't stop immediately, I will give you detention in the Forbidden Forest, and send you straight to the Headmasters office!"

Unfortunately for Draco, he didn't stop sing. If anything, he only sang louder.

Snape now had a shape of color in his face, something that anyone who had ever known Snape would claim is ridiculous, being the pseudo albino he is. Snape screamed, "THATS IT MR. MALFOY! DETENTION IN THE FORBIDDEN FOREST WITH HAGRID! REPORT TO THE HEADMASTERS OFFICE NOW!"

Draco, with tears in his eyes from being embarrassed in front of the entire class, left. Jaina was on the floor laughing, as was nearly every other Gryffindor, while the Slytherins were unsuccessfully holding back snickers and quiet laughs.

Professor Snape, in an attempt to regain some authority, proclaimed, "And that students, is what happens if you cross me, or interrupt my class."

Several minutes into the lecture, Harry passed Jaina a note, reading, _I'll bet our parents didn't teach you that during your training, did they?_

Jaina read the note, and Harry managed to see the corner of her lip twitch. She scribbled something down, and passed it back.

Harry opened the note, which read, _That was you? What spell was that? And how are you even able to practice magic, you've only had your wand for a little over a month!_

Harry scribbled down, _That's a lot of questions. I'm guessing you'll have more. Meet me outside the Great Hall at eight tomorrow night? I also have a few questions of my own._

Jaina read it, and smiled. She wrote something down, blushed, and passed it to Harry.

Snapes sixth sense allowed him to see that the twins were writing notes to each other. He swooped in, and grabbed the piece of paper. "Well look at this. It's our newest celebrities, the Potter twins. Tell me Ms. Potter, what would you get if I powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Jaina clearly didn't know. "Um... I'd imagine you'd get a Potion!" Feeling confident at her snarky response, she smiled brightly.

Snape sneered, and replied, "No it isn't. You'd get the Draught of Living Death, one of the most powerful sleeping potions in existence. Are you any brighter Mr. Potter?"

Harry shrugged, and answered, "I certainly like to think so." This earned him a half smile from Snape, and a dark look from Jaina.

"In that case, I suppose you would be able to tell us where to find a Bezoar?"

Harry blinked. _I'm surprised I actually know this. Even though it is technically only because I read the Second Year Potion books._ "Yes, of course. You can find it in the bottom of a goats stomach, as well as most ingredient cabinets, as they're very useful in healing potions and they're inexpensive."

Snape somewhat glared at him, before continuing, "And you would, of course, be able to tell the class the difference between Wolfsbane and that Monkswood?"

Harry nodded. "Of course Professor. There is no difference between those ingredients, because they're the same thing, only different names."

Snape, seemingly pacified for now, turned to the class, and said, "Well? Why aren't you writing this down? I will not repeat myself!" A flurry of scribbling ensued.

Snape steered his head toward his original target, and saw that Jaina still had the note in her hand, although she was busy glaring at Harry. "What's this Ms. Potter, a love letter?" Snape swiped the note from Jainas hand.

"Hey! That's mine!" Jania protested.

Snape snickered when he read the letter, but didn't read it out loud to the class. "It appears Mr. Potter had something to do with Mr. Malfoys performance earlier... Your punishment shall be the same as his; Detention in the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid."

Harry frowned, but didn't do anything.

Snape scowled; he wanted more of a reaction. So he turned to Harrys sister, and said, "And for not telling a teacher about your brothers shenanigans, you will also serve the detention with your brother and Mr. Malfoy, does that sound fair?"

"No!"

"Correct, it isn't fair. I'll take ten points from Gryffindor as well." Snape smiled in his small victory.

Jaina pouted, but didn't protest further.

Harry looked to see if Jaina was mad at him, or just Snape. She was staring daggers at Snape, but didn't appear to wish him any ill will, so Harry poked her.

"What?" Jaina snapped.

"Well? What's your answer?" Harry asked.

Jaina nodded, and continued to glare at Snape.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Here's the deal everybody. I already have the next chapter written, and I"ll publish it either on Sunday or on Monday. my goal is to reach 1000 follows. Sorry if this Chapter is messy, MNI was busy. I'll updatereplace the Chapter once he gets it back to me, but oh well until then.**_

_**Review!**_


	7. First Day of Class, Part Two

Dirty Harry Chapter Six - First Day of Class, Part Two

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>So here's the second part. I wrote all of this in Mexico, and some of it is un-Beta'd. When MNI gets back to me, I'll update this, which should clean it up a bit more.<strong>_

* * *

><p><span><strong><em>Here are my notes from the last two chapters.<em>**

**_Yes, I did just steal Leia Organa from Star Wars. Any objections? No? Good._**

**_I want her to be a kind of a Dark Side Leia, so she'll get progressively dark, she won't start out super evil, like someone else will._**

**_I will continue to steal Star Wars characters. Harry will fuck many, others will be bros. Such as Galen. Give it time everybody._**

**_Also, I forgot to give Harry some bros. That was an accident, that will be fixed._**

**_IMPORTANT!_**

**_I've decide to steal a bucket load of characters from one anime. I will not say which anime. I will give three hints._**

**_1. Harry will not fuck any of the characters from the anime._**

**_2. You won't be as mad as you think you'd be at Hint #1._**

**_3. "Deutschland, would you like some Pasta?"_**

**_Any otaku should be able to identify which anime I adore immediately. Yes, I said Pasta. No, it wasn't an accident._**

**_It's one of the funniest animes I've ever seen, and always gets me out of a bad mood._**

**_That might have been more than three hints..._**

* * *

><p>Narration<p>

"Speech"

_Thoughts/Notes_

**Spells**

_**Authors Note**_

* * *

><p>Once Potions ended, Harry left, and arrived at History class. It was open seating, and none of his peerage was here yet, so he looked for a relatively empty table. Finding one, he quickly sat down. Of the eight seats available, one was taken by a girl, and Harry took another Leaving six remaining.<p>

He offered his hand, and said, "Hello, I'm Harry Potter."

The girl looked up for her textbook, and shook his hand. "I'm Leia Organa. Nice to meet you Harry." Harry looked her over. She had her brown hair in a bun, so he couldn't tell how long it was, but her eyes were a dark brown. She was pale, but that was typical of most British citizens. Overall, she was very attractive.

Then she glared at him, "Wait, I don't recognize you from my House. You're in Slytherin, aren't you?" She accused.

Harry tilted his head, and replied, "Yeah, I am. Weren't you there for the Sorting last night?"

Leia flinched. "Um, I wasn't exactly paying the closest attention to where everybody was. Don't change the subject! You're in Slytherin, you're evil!"

Harry laughed. He didn't respond for a good thirty seconds, but eventually said, "Do you really think the Ministry would allow Hogwarts to continue running if a fourth of its students were evil?"

Leia opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. After a minute of Harry looking very victorious, she weakly said, "It's a trap to identify evil people?"

Harry laughed, and the rest of his peerage arrived, and sat around the table, filling it up.

Harry settled down just as the teacher, who was a ghost, came in. _That's not right..._ Harry thought. The ghost was clearly wavering in his path, and overall, looked like a mess.

Flora leaned over to her sister, and whispered, "Does he look hungover to you?"

Hestia replied, "Yeah, but how can he be hungover? He's a ghost! He can't drink! Can he?"

The teacher just slurred out, "Alright kids, we're going to play a fun first day of school game. It's called the Quiet Game." When some of the students snickered, who had clearly figured out what was happening, he yelled, "QUIET! The rules of the game are very simple. I'll give everyone a textbook, you read it quietly. If you're to loud, I'll take House Points. At the end of class, I might give out some to the very quietest person." When he finished, he waved his hand, and textbooks flew out of a nearby cabinet, and landed on every students desk. "Just read Chapter Fifteen." He finally reached his own desk, and put his head down.

Harry shrugged, and opened to Chapter Fifteen.

_Chapter Fifteen - Of Gods and Magic_

_Gods. There have been many of them in muggle society. In reality, most of them were extremely skilled Witches and Wizards._

"FIVE POINTS FROM RAVENCLAW!" The ghost screamed, making everyone jump in their seat. Evidently, someone had whispered to loudly.

Harry shook his head, and continued reading.

_For example, the Greek Gods, who later became the Roman Gods, were not Gods; instead they were merely a skilled group of family members that somehow achieved immortality. We, even to this day, do not understand how they obtained immortality, because they went into hiding after the fall of Rome._

_Many believe that some of the Greek myths were true, because many involved creatures that exist today. Of course, those who disagree argue that those parts are only designed to make the story's seem realistic, as many stories do today._

_Another example is the Egyptian Pharaohs. They were all skilled mages, although none truly obtained immortality, as far as we can tell. Nor were their Gods wizards, only the Pharaohs were._

"TEN POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!"

Harry rolled his eyes, and kept reading.

_Ironically, the three biggest religions in the world, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, were not founded by Wizards, as was nearly every other religion. Some attribute this fact to their success, while others argue that some parts of the Bible were based off of Wizarding society._

_That concludes this Chapter of "History: Told by a Dead Man."_

Harry looked up, and found that he was the first to finish. In fact, a majority of the class wasn't even paying attention, instead choosing to talk among their friends. Even the normally studious Claws were goofing off.

Harry shrugged, and put his head down to go to sleep.

* * *

><p>Fifty minutes later, class was dismissed. Harry had fallen asleep, and his peerage was mostly gone, except Daphne, who was trying to wake Harry up. "Hey! Harry! You have to wake up!"<p>

The ghost teacher drifted towards Harry, his hungover either gone or much better. He looked at Daphne, and said, "This always wakes them up." He lifted his hand, and swished it through Harrys head.

Harry jerked awake, and looked around.

"Good afternoon Mr. Potter. Had a nice nap? I know I did!" The ghost laughed. "Anyway, you were the quietest, even if you did fall asleep. Ten points to Slytherin!" With that, the ghost wandered off, leaving Harry and Daphne alone.

"Harry Potter; earning points by sleeping. You're already on your path to greatness!" Daphne said, with a happy smile.

* * *

><p>Harry and Daphne made their way to Charms class, and were one of the first to arrive. They sat in the back, and waited in relative silence for everyone to arrive, while their half-Goblin professor (as Daphne explained to Harry) happily fiddled with some sort of device on his desk.<p>

Slytherins came in ones and twos, while Hufflepuffs, in true 'friendly nature', came in large groups, with two exceptions. The first was a girl, slightly shorter than Daphne, with long red hair, that was lighter than Rias' blood-red hair, but not exactly a ginger. She had dark brown eyes, and looked slightly nervous, even scared.

The other was a boy, who walked in quietly a minute after the girl. He had light brown eyes, and short brown hair. He sat in the corner of the room, and was observing the girl eerily.

Daphne nodded to her, and said, "That's the girl I talked about earlier, Susan Bones. She looks kind of lonely, do you want to talk to her or something?"

Harry hummed, trying to make up his mind. "I'd rather not. That guy over there gives off this weird vibe, and something tells me that he wouldn't appreciate me talking to her."

Daphne rolled her eyes, and replied, "Harry Potter, conqueror of worlds, scared of a little boy. Man up and talk to her!"

Harry sighed, and went up to her. She. Was sitting in the front, so his trip was short. He smiled as best he could, and introduced himself. "Hello, my name's Harry Potter. What's yours?"

The girl looked up to him, and Harry thought he saw a glint of fear in her eyes. "M-My name's Susan Bones. What do you want?"

Harry took a seat next to her, and replied, "I just want to have a lovely conversation with a lovely girl. And you looked lonely, and I didn't like that. And so, I appeared."

Susan blushed, and looked away, not replying. Harry felt someone stare at the back of his head, and turned; sure enough, the guy was staring daggers at Harry. If stares could kill, Harry figured he would be dead several times over. Harry waved, but was only met with a stare.

"So who's the guy plotting my murder behind us?" Harry asked.

Susan blushed out of embarrassment, and answered, "Galen Marek. I think he should've been placed in somewhere else, because he's not very sociable. He's been staring at me, and following me ever since I helped him after he got lost yesterday. He's really nice, honest! He's just... Not very open. But I'm sure he won't do anything to you. Just don't hit on me."

Harry paused. "What would happen if I hit on you?"

"Well... It might have been a legitimate accident, but this one guy, I think he was a Fifth Year, he tried to flirt with me this morning... I found out he tripped and fell down four flights of stairs..."

Harry hid his nervousness, and said, "Well, that could've happened to anybody."

By this time, all of the students came in, since the professor stood, and announced, "Hello students! I'm Professor Flitwick, and I'll be your Charms professor for the next seven years! Now, Charms for the first few years is very basic, but will eventually involve wandless and silent spells. Today, I have a basic pamphlet that denounces some common misconceptions about dueling, and spellwork in general." He waved his hand, and pamphlets flew from his desk, into the laps of the students hands. "Read those, while I solve this Rubik's Cube..." He sat down, and continued fiddling with the object.

Harry rolled his eyes, and read the pamphlet.

_Hello children! It's the Kanto Region again, here to help correct some stereotypes about dueling!_

_While Dueling is very fun, it should be left to professionals,, or you should make an appointment with a Dueling expert if you can't resolve your differences, so you're always safe._

_For those who intend to become duelists, this is for you._

_Duel wielding may seem effective, but is extremely difficult, and only recommended for those who intend to become professional duelists, as it takes many years to master, or even become adequate at it._

_Silent spells are expected of professional duelists, although on recordings, the spells used are displayed on the screen. Many believe that wandless spells are also expected, but this is untrue; wands focus spells, and make them easier to cast, slightly more powerful, and expend less energy. Of course, in desperate times, wandless spells can lead to wins, so all duelists are expected to know some wandless and silent spells._

The hour ended, and Harry walked out, Galen glaring at him the entire time.

* * *

><p>Harry made his way to the library. He wanted to find out what exactly it was that made girls bisexual. Assuming of course, any of it was true, and Daphne wasn't just making it up. He arrived, and looked to see who was there. It looked completely deserted to Harry, which struck him as odd. <em>Eh, it's the first day of Hogwarts. I doubt anyone wants to start studying.<em>

He made his way down to aisle "S" to look for books about sex. Unsurprisingly, there weren't any available for the underage students. He frowned, and went to the "R" aisle to look for magical rituals. He found a couple, and put them on a table to take back later.

When walking towards the "I" aisle, to look for books on intercourse, he saw a large, locked gate. Deciding to investigate, he approached it. It had a sign above it, reading "Restricted Section: No Students Allowed"

Despite this, there was only a padlock on it, something Harry knew he could unlock, having practiced the Alohormora charm many times at his orphanage, since he had read about its usefulness in "Ten Friendly and Unfriendly Spells Everyone Should Know".

He looked both ways, and still didn't see anyone. He drew his Ebony wand, and whispered, "**Alohormora**."

"What are you doing?" Someone asked from behind him. Harry jumped what felt like a foot in the air, and turned to find the bushy haired girl he had saved from Snape's wrath early that day glaring at him.

He quickly came up with a funny lie, and answered, "I'm looking for a good bed time story. What about you?"

She ignored the questioned, and instead unnecessarily reminded him, "You're not allowed in there. That's why it's the Restricted Section."

Harry put on his best innocent face, and replied, "What Restricted Section? All I see is an open door, and books with knowledge for me through it."

She rolled her eyes, and pointed at the sign. "That Restricted Section."

Harry, becoming desperate, pointed behind her, and exclaimed, "There's Snape! Run!"

The girl turned behind her, only to realize her mistake. By the time she had turned around, Harry was ten feet into the Restricted Section, booking it towards the tallest stack of books he could find.

The girl, unsure of what to do, looked around for an adult to tattle on Harry. Not finding one, she decided to run after him. Harry ducked behind a bookshelf, and waited for her to find him. When she came running past, Harry grabbed her, and said, "Look, I helped you in class today, so why don't you just let this go, and we can call it even?"

She wrested his hand off of her, and replied, "You didn't help me in class today!"

Harry rolled his eyes, and reminded her, "Yes I did. Remember when Draco decided he wanted to sing for all of us? Do you think he did that on his own?"

Finally putting two and two together, her eyes widened, and she said, "Oh! How'd you get him to do that?"

"A simple charm, that'd I'd be more than happy to teach you, if you promise not to tattle on me."

She bit her lip for a moment, which Harry thought was cute, before she said, "You can teach me later. The librarian is gone on her break, you only have an hour to find your 'Bed time story'."

Harry smiled, and said, "Thank you. My names Harry. Harry Potter."

She rolled her eyes, and replied, "My name is Hermione Granger. And just so you know, I already knew who you are. Everyone knows who you are. You're the talk of the school in case you haven't noticed. That, and I sleep in the same room as your sister."

Harry walked over to the bookshelf, and looked at the book titles. "Really? I assume she only says nice things about me?"

Hermione snorted rather unladylike, and replied "Not exactly. Although to be fair, from what I know, she only met you for two days ago, so I'd bet you could make it up to her."

Harry frowned. "And what exactly would I have to make up to her for? I haven't done anything wrong!"

Hermione paused. "I'm not entirely sure. I know she doesn't like you, but I can't remember her saying why." She shrugged, and continued, "Well, you're a guy, so you probably just did something the wrong way. Just buy her chocolates. I know that she likes chocolates."

Harry shrugged, and replied, "Alright. Thanks for the advice." _Not that I couldn't have gotten that from Daphne._

"So what are you actually looking for? I can help if you like." Hermione offered.

Harry briefly considered telling her, but decided against it. Instead, he lied, "I'm really just looking for a good bedtime story. The regular section just doesn't cut it for me."

Hermione rolled her eyes, and replied, "No seriously, I'll help! I promise I won't judge."

Harry couldn't help but feel a bit offended. "Judge me? What would give you the impression that I'm doing something that would cause you to look down upon me?"

"Well you're a Slytherin that's breaking the rules, and from what your sister says, if she can be believed, you're a rather large pervert. So I can safely conclude that you're doing something nefarious."

"Ooh, nefarious, big word for a big girl." Harry replied with a smile. When Hermione didn't respond, he continued, "Fine. I'm here to research a rumor that claims that Hogwarts make students bisexual, as well as any sexual rituals, particularly those that involve twins."

Hermione blushed a deep crimson, but began searching the bookshelves, as she promised. "Since you're researching rituals involving twins, I assume you have taken an interest in the Patel twins?"

"The who? Oh, them." Harry said, answering his own question. "Actually, I took an interest in the Carrow twins. But thanks for reminding me about them."

"Jeez, you really are the pervert Jaina said you were."

"Hey, better I take advantage of them than someone else."

"That's so sexist!" Hermione exclaimed. She opened her mouth to continue her tirade, when Harry raised a hand to signal her silence.

"You're a muggleborn, aren't you?"

Hermione paused. "How'd you know that?"

Harry chuckled. "Because anyone who's spent two weeks in the Wizarding world knows it's sexist. There are only a handful of women in the entire Wizengamot, and women can only become a Head if there are absolutely no men in the entire family! A man can have as many wives as he wants, but as far as I can tell, it doesn't hold true for a woman." Harry explained. Hermione flinched, but Harry continued, "Even I've figured that out, and I grew up in an orphanage."

"You grew up in an orphanage?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah. Let me guess, Jaina didn't tell you that?"

Hermione lowered her head. "No..."

Harry sighed. "Well let me make my case for why I am who I am. My life, up until I discovered magic, sucked. No other way to say it. I was bullied from the moment I was dropped off by Dumbledore, underfed, and ignored by the staff. I've had more broken bones than friends in my life, and even then, the friends left faster than the bones healed. Until I discovered magic."

Hermione had tears in her eyes, and Harry guessed she was on the brink of openly weeping, but she managed to squeak out, "What happened when you discovered magic?"

Harry didn't answer for a full minute. When he did, he only said, "Let's just say that it stopped, very quickly. And I learned something from that. People won't hurt you if they think you can hurt them worse. So I'm going to grow stronger, so no one can ever hurt me again. If someone tries to stop me, then I have to stop them. That's how the world works." Harry explained.

Hermione put down the books she had gathered for Harry on the nearest table, and said, "I have to go help tutor a friend. I don't know why she needs help on the second day, but she does. Here are all of the books that I found on this bookshelf, but there are probably more around here. If you ever want help finding a book, or you want a study buddy, or you just want to talk, I'm here for you." She blushed, and ran off.

Harry shrugged, and looked at the books they had collected together. Hermione had collected nine, while he collected thirteen, although several of those weren't simply about the subjects he had originally looked for, but appeared interesting nonetheless. So in total, there were over twenty books, something Harry didn't exactly want to bring back to his room on his own.

He snapped his fingers, remembering the Goblins box. He took he out of his pocket, and enlarged it. He put each book into it, closed the box, and shrunk it back to the original pocket size. When he tried to pick it up, he found it was heavier than anticipated. I guess only the size changes, and not the weight. Weird. Regardless, he enlarged the box again, and took each book out. He cast the featherweight charm on all of them, and placed them back into the box. He shrunk the box, and picked it up. Finding it much lighter, he put it in his pocket. He left for his room, very happy with that afternoons proceedings, and made a note to come back for more books here when he finished with what he had.

* * *

><p>Harry walked in his room, and found Daphne sitting in their bed, talking with a Goblin, while Morgana read a book in hers. The others were nowhere to be seen.<p>

"What's up Daphne?" Harry asked.

"Harry, this is Poisoned Dagger. He's a Gringotts representative."

"Hello Mr. Potter. As Ms. Greengrass has already said, I am a Gringotts representative. We at Gringotts have several concerns with your education, specifically that you may not be fully aware of the Wizarding culture. We also have several financial concerns, that should be discussed in private." Poisoned Dagger said.

Harry examined the Goblin. He was just like every other Goblin Harry had met, shirt, old, wrinkly, an overall very cranky looking. "Sure. I trust Daphne, but..." He turned to Morgana, and said, "Morgana, do you mind reading somewhere else? I need to do some this privately."

Morgana sighed, but nodded. She picked up her book, and left. Harry had just enough time to see that Morganas ass was shaping out very nicely.

"So, what would you like to discuss Mr. Dagger?" Harry asked.

"Firstly, the matter that you are Heir to two separate Ancient and Noble titles. This is perfectly acceptable in Wizarding culture, but it must be dealt with carefully. Many centuries ago, when inbreeding was common, the Wizengamot declared that for every title, there must be one male Head, and one female wife to this Head. However, while a male may have as many titles as he wishes, a female may only have one title at a time. This was designed to prevent females from achieving anything anywhere close to power, while the males hoarded it. It was implemented by having the male Head have as many wives as he did titles. So you, as the Heir to two titles, will need at least two wives, who aren't already the Heir, as is Ms. Greengrass here, unless they are removed by the Head of their House, or resign. Of course, you may have more, but that is the minimum amount required of you."

Harty shrugged. "That's fine by me. Anything else?"

"Yes. Gringotts has created you a personal account, and your three previous accounts will now transfer the money to this one, so that you may receive the full five thousand Galleons, whether or not you've spent it already. Is this a problem?" When Harry shook his head, he continued, "Very well. Lastly, should I draw up a marriage contract between you and Ms. Greengrass? It is rare, but not unheard of, for two Heirs to marry, but as Ms. Greengrass has a little sibling, it is likely that she will not be an Heir if she marries you. Is that acceptable in both sides?"

Harry spoke up first, saying, "You don't need to do that right now. I intend on marrying not her, and her sister, but not for some time. I'm sure she feels the same."

Daphne nodded, and the Goblin said, "Very well. Purely for your education, I have left two books about marriage. The first describes the many types of marriage contracts, and the second describes various sexual positions that are pleasurable for all parties. There are also some that are intentionally only pleasurable for only a single party. It even goes so far as to describe and illustrate sexual positions that involve multiple partners, should that situation arise, as I am sure it will, with you being as powerful and ambitious as you are."

Harry couldn't help but think, _Did he just give me a porn magazine?_ Regardless, he replied, "Thank you. I am sure it will be helpful in the future."

The Goblin nodded. "That is all from me. Should you need anything, please mail us, we will gladly help in any way we can."

Daphne blinked in surprise. _A helpful Goblin? I doubt that very much. Unless they're planning something..._ She narrowed her eyes at the Goblin, and made a mental note to ask her father to look into the Goblins affairs.

"Do you have any questions for me Mr. Potter?" Poisoned Dagger asked.

Harry shrugged, and answered, "Just one. Will you be coming here every time I need something? Or will our contact be through mail?"

The Goblin clearly respected the question, and slightly smiled. "I like the thinking ahead Mr. Potter. To answer your question, it would be me that comes here whenever you had a financial matter, until you are able to come to Gringotts." A light flashed in the old Goblins head, and he asked. "Before I forget, we are planning to give you a personal Goblin, as you are an Heir. He would take care of all of your accounts, and see that your affairs are profitable, and without loopholes. Do you have any preferences in your Goblin? Of course, I wouldn't be offended if you didn't ask me."

Harry scratched the back of his head. "Uh, I don't exactly know a lot about Goblins. What are my options?"

The Goblin waved off the question. "One of the books I gave you is about Goblin culture. Read that, form an opinion, and mail Gringotts. Is that all?"

Harry looked to Daphne, who shrugged. He assumed that meant she had nothing to ask. He still asked, "How'd you get here? I thought Hogwarts was impossible to get into without permission?"

The Goblin merely laughed, and replied, "Perhaps I will tell you one day. For now, let's just say that Goblins helped build Hogwarts, and that we know more of its secrets than some of the faculty do. If that is all, I must be leaving. May your adventures be profitable."

Harry was slightly offset by the farewell, but replied, "And yours as well Poisoned Dagger. May your blade always be... Poisoned."

He didn't exactly know what to say, but the Goblin thought it was funny, because he laughed, and said, "Mr. Potter, you really should read that book before we meet again. It will help with many things." With that, the Goblin left.

Harry took out the box he had stored the books from the Restricted Section, and took the books out. "Alright, I found about twenty books in the Restricted Section. How many books did Poisoned Dagger bring?"

Daphne looked over the pile of books by their bed. "Four. One about Goblins, one about marriage contracts, and two pornmags," Harry snickered, but Daphne continued, "So how was your trip to the library?"

"Fun. I started only looking for books about rituals and that rumor, but I found a couple others that looked interesting."

"Oh yeah? What about?" Daphne asked.

"Familiars, something called an elemental, and dragons. And there was this girl there, a friend of Jaina's."

"Really? Did your sister have anything nice to say about you?"

"Surprisingly not. But the girl seemed to think I was nice enough. Well, after I gave my sad life story anyway."

Daphne hummed, and opened one of the pornmags the Goblin gave Harry. "Think you'll add her to your harem?"

Harry shrugged, lying next to her, opening a book about Familiars. "I don't know. She's a muggleborn, so there's no money in it. But I got 'nerd' vibe from her, so she might be useful for research purposes. Hell, she helped me find some of these books, so that must say something about her character."

"That's interesting. If nothing else, she can serve as a spy for us. Well, not a spy per say, but someone who tells us what they're thinking and stuff. But I'm not sure if that's technically a spy. Where does her foot go in this position... Oh, right there! Wait, is that her foot, or his hand? Anyway, we should probably get started with this pile. Do you want to pull an all-nighter to finish, or do it slowly?" Daphne asked.

"I want to get through those two Goblin books by the end of tonight, nothing else is really pressing. Although that book about Familiars does look interesting. And pass me that pornmag when you're done with it please. Also, remind me to meet with my sister outside the Great Hall at eight tomorrow night."

Daphne groaned. "Really? You're really going to try to bang your own sister? I thought that was just a phase!"

Harry chuckled. "A phase? That ended between this afternoon and now? No. I intend to fuck her good, if not to piss off my folks, then for the Potter fortune. And she's hot. And probably powerful."

"But she's so... Bitchy..."

Harry waved get off, saying, "I'm sure it's just a phase." With a smirk.

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING RIDICULOUSLY LATE!<strong>_

_**My Mock Trial team advanced to Semi-Finals, and we didn't really expect/want to win and go to Finals, but we did, and we're playing our own team tomorrow morning. That's right, I have to go and compete against my own team. At fucking eight in the morning (ON A FUCKING SATURDAY!). The teacher has told us throughout the year that we're two equal teams, but we really are the JV team, going toe-to-toe with the Varsity team. They're expecting an easy win. We know that we can beat all but two of their people.**_

_**Wish me luck in a review!**_


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